Archive for the ‘Plastic Surgery’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Re­mind You of Ba­by Car­rots

Woman on cell: Well, we have a large prob­lem — his thing is very small…

–Out­side Pa­paya Dog, W 4th

Over­heard by: notrob

Pro­fes­sor: So, you have all seen large penis­es and small penis­es, but you nev­er see a fat­ty pe­nis! [Class laughs.] Is that a ‘Yes, that is true’ laugh, or what?

–Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty Med Cen­ter

Fe­male the­ater-go­er: His pe­nis would have been nor­mal-sized if he was five-foot-six. As it was, every­thing was out of pro­por­tion.

–Gold­en The­ater

Over­heard by: Colleen

Drunk man with imag­i­nary cup: Ex­cuse me, sor­ry for do­ing this — I’m not shy, I just have a small pe­nis, and I’d re­al­ly ap­pre­ci­ate some mon­ey for a pe­nis en­large­ment surgery. And if not mon­ey, then a sand­wich. A BLT or a larg­er cock. Thank you. I just want a larg­er cock.

–2 train

Over­heard by: Man with the big pe­nis

Maybe He Was Do­ing Her a Fa­vor

Girl: I heard on CNN to­day that this woman in France just re­ceived the first suc­cess­ful face trans­plant af­ter she was mauled by her Labrador. They re­placed like her whole nose and lips and chin or some­thing.
Guy: Whoa.
Girl: I know!
Guy: I mean, I thought Labradors were, like, re­al­ly friend­ly.

–19th & 8th

Over­heard by: Lara P

Enor­mous Changes for Wednes­day One-lin­ers

Woman: I would be­daz­zle the shit out of that shirt.

–53rd & 9th

Girl: So, he said he was think­ing about get­ting LASIK, and I told him that if he wants to have surgery he has to start with a nose­job.

–Times Square

Man on cell: Yeah man, I promised for her birth­day I’d take her to the best doc­tor in town. She re­al­ly needs to have this done. Where did you take yours when she had fleas?

–57th & Broad­way

Girl on cell: Oh, I don’t know, the last time I saw you your lips did­n’t look that over­in­flat­ed.

–Wash­ing­ton Square dog run

Over­heard by: boswell