Archive for the ‘Politicians’ Category

What’s “Wednes­day One-Lin­er,” Any­way?

Earnest side­walk poll­ster: Sir? Have you got a minute to talk about the san­i­ta­tion de­part­ment? Do you think it’s nor­mal?

–51st St & Lex­ing­ton

Over­heard by: jake‑e

Con­duc­tor, bend­ing down be­fore faint­ed man: C’­mon! Dude! What did I tell you be­fore? Get up and sit down and pass out in the seat like reg­u­lar nor­mal peo­ple. Peo­ple think you’re dead. Get up.

–Up­town 6 Train

Over­heard by: I guess not a nor­mal per­son

Girl, dur­ing His­to­ry of Is­lam class: Mir­a­cles show us what’s nor­mal and what’s, like, su­per above nor­mal.

–Hunter Col­lege

Woman, bend­ing down to ad­just child: You have to walk nor­mal­ly now–like a nor­mal per­son.

–Mu­se­um of Nat­ur­al His­to­ry

Nerd guy to friend: It would­n’t be child la­bor. You just hook them up to elec­trodes, con­nect them to the the pow­er grid, and have them play on the play­ground like nor­mal!

–Shut­tle to Times Square

Me Fail Eng­lish?

Gov­er­nor Pata­ki: Go out and study hard so you don’t get a bad ex­am on your grades.

–Can­tor Film Cen­ter, East 8th Street

Over­heard by: StyX

Man #1: The Tet Of­fen­sive was just con­fus­ing.
Man #2: Not re­al­ly. I un­der­stood it com­plete­ly.
Man #1: Well, let me use an anal­o­gy: it would be like if to­mor­row, we went in­to Bagh­dad and re­moved all the troops. Is that how it was?
Man #2: Maybe; I don’t know what anal­o­gy means.

–Wash­ing­ton Place & 6th

Over­heard by: Gradie Smith

Looks Like the Bug-eyed Bronx­ite is Toast

Howard Dean: …I think Fer­rer can win–
Man: Mr. Dean! I would have vot­ed for you, man!
Howard Dean: …Thanks…
Man: I would have vot­ed for you if you re­move all the poi­son in your
body!…I would have vot­ed for you if you loved Amer­i­ca! You would have been a great pres­i­dent, but on­ly if you weren’t so poi­so­nous!
Howard Dean: …Thanks…

–20th & Park

Over­heard by: Steve Gart­land