Archive for the ‘Politics’ Category

Just As Long As It’s Chicks Who Are Willing to Sleep with Me

20-something hipster boy #1: So, you ever think that the US will stop being the most powerful nation in the world?
20-something hipster boy #2: Well, if not us, then who?
20-something hipster boy #3: They say China will take over eventually.
20-something hipster boy #2: China? What the hell are they gonna do, drop people on us?

–E Train

Overheard by: chinese girl who sat next to them

What Day Do We Post Wednesday One-Liners?

Suit to security guard: Which elevator goes next door?

–1 Penn Plaza

Overheard by: Nora

Hot dog vendor: To go?

–Hot Dog Stand, 62nd & 3rd

Overheard by: Chrissy

Woman holding Dunkin Donuts mug to employee: Excuse me, can this mug hold cold drinks as well, or just hot ones?

–Dunkin Donuts, 76th & York

Woman: Crepe cafe? What do they do there? (comes closer) Ohhhh, they make crepes?

–Crepe Cafe Cart, W 50th St

Overheard by: Dianora

20-something girl to friend: What are we even walking for again?

–Strides Against Breast Cancer Walk, Central Park

Laughing, genuinely amazed Columbia underclassman: Isn’t it, like, amazing, how we know what is food and what isn’t food?

–W 114th Street b/w Broadway & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Susan Volchok

Conductor: Next stop is…where am I?

–Uptown 1 Train

Wednesday One-Liners and the Political Process

Hobo: There’s a Republican in Greenwich Village! [Sirens sound nearby.] Better watch out!

–W 12th & 8th

Overheard by: nyamelia

Excited man on cell: It’s a White House colonic!

–17th & 6th

Seven-year-old girl with silent parents: Spitzer won! Spitzer won! Spitzer won!

–8th Ave, Park Slope

20-ish guy on cell: What do you mean, ‘Bush will get re-elected in ‘08’? Didn’t you go to fuckin’ grade school and learn about the two term limit on the presidency? Okay, yeah, I’ll be over for dinner tonight… Love ya, Mom! Bye!

–W 41st & 7th

Hipster dude to another: That girl told me she was a Republican, and I fucked her in the ass all night long. That was the best ass sex I ever had.

–Clinton St & 3rd Pl, Carroll Gardens

Overheard by: Terry

Customer: I’d like a grande hazelnut latte and a new president.

–Starbucks

Overheard by: Grady

$50 Says Mo Would Take That Scarecrow Out

Woman: Who do you think would win a fight between Ann Coulter and Maureen Dowd?
Man: A fight?
Woman: Yeah, you know, a death match.
Man: I’m gonna go with Ann Coulter.
Woman: You think? They both wear long, spikey heels. They could put each other’s eyes out pretty fast.
Man: But Ann Coulter would be like, “Rock on, I’m in a death cage!” And Maureen Dowd would be like, “Wait, what am I doing in a death cage?”

–Alt.Coffee, Avenue A

Because Obama Totally Seems Like the Type Of Guy Who Listens to Rap

Obese black man #1 playing loud obscene rap song: What she looking at? (points to two old Russian women at the front of bus) Man, these white people. Don’t they know this is a free fuckin’ country?
Obese black man #2: Yeah, I’m tellin you, now that Obama’s elected, white people are gonna know what the fuck’s up.

–Q63 Bus

Overheard by: filemeunder