Hoochie #1: I’m okay with abortions and everything, but I think if I had to get them every other month that’d be nasty.
Hoochie #2: Uh-huh.
–LIRR, Huntington Branch
Overheard by: Mark Schilsky
Archive for the ‘Politics’ Category
Wednesday One-Liners Spend Most of Their Time Fundraising
Man to guy trying to avoid him: Because, you see — all Republicans are Nazis. I don’t know why no one else can tell.
–67th & Broadway
Overheard by: kendra
Thug to another: Damn, nigga! That’s why the Democrats ain’t going to win the motherfuckin’ White House in 2008!
–Union Square
Overheard by: guy who’s not sure if it’s racist or not
Righteous girl: I am glad I slept with him before I found out he was a Republican.
–6 train, Uptown
Overheard by: Susan
Rollerblading twelve-year-old to friend: Sean Hannity is such a douche!
–44th and 8th
Anti-Bush crazy at anti-war stand on the street: There’s an idiot in the White House! There’s an idiot in the White House! .… Actually, he’s a monkey — we got the DNA results back!
–Outside of the Met
Man on cell: Well, they killed 3,000 people! …Nooo, not the Arabs, the Conservatives — the New York Conservatives!
–181 St & Ft. Washington, Starbucks
Overheard by: One of the teachers
Hobo: I hope I never run for office, because you people aren’t the first group I’ve said fucked-up shit to.
–F Train
She Knows What “Wishful Thinking” Means
Girl #1: I despise books about political science.
Girl #2: I just despise books.
Girl #1: You know, if I paid attention in class, I would know what, like, half these words meant.
–Shakespeare & Co., 69th & Lexington
Straightlines without Punchlines
Man (to hipstress): You should get a tattoo of Ben Franklin.
–22nd & Park Ave South
Overheard by: Matt Law
America Runs on Wednesday One-Liners
Thug: I love you because when I’m with you I feel like I’m Barack Obama and you’re Hillary Clinton.
–N Train
All-black-wearing chick with cigarette: Do you ever find yourself thinking really conservative thoughts by accident?
–Outside International Affairs Building, Columbia University
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Subway crazy: Rip Torn for president! Denny McLain for Secretary of State!
–Uptown 6 Train
Girl with baby in her arms: You know, he taped an Obama poster on his door and I was like, “Oh no, you didn’t put that up.” ’cause he don’t know nothing about politics. Hell, he a felon…he can’t even vote.
–East Village Urban Outfitters
Five-year-old boy pointing at a sidewalk mural of Hillary and Obama: Mom, look, Hillary! (long pause) And some guy.
–106th & Broadway
Overheard by: Kip
Grumpy old man: Things have been going downhill since the Wilson administration.
–70th & Columbus
Overheard by: Devoted Puppy
She’s Perfect for Fox News
Yuppie #1: So Sarah Palin came into my office for a photo shoot the other day.
Yuppie #2: Really? Is she hot?
Yuppie #1: She is so fucking hot.
Yuppie #2: But politically she’s a dolt.
Yuppie #1: Oh, of course.
–MoMA
Overheard by: The Phantom of the Art Museum
Didn’t You Say That About Ross Perot?
Man #1 (referring to Sarah Palin): Yeah, she’s beautiful. She’ll eventually become a TV star… Fox’ll give her a job.
Man #2: Exactly. I wouldn’t want her to be president, but I’d want to see her naked.
–7 Train
Overheard by: emma
I Might Have to Take Some Action If I Knew
Mother, after mayor Bloomberg goes by: Was that Rudy?
Daughter: Giuliani? You really don’t know what Rudy Giuliani looks like?
Mother: No.
Daughter: This is almost as bad as the time you said you don’t know what Darfur is.
Mother: I still don’t.
–Columbus Day Parade
“I can’t talk about this anymore. My brain is shot.”
Guy: Well, William can be Bill, Robert can be Bob, and John can be Jack.
Girl: John can be Jack?
Guy: Yeah, you know, like sometimes John Kennedy was called Jack Kennedy.
Girl: Then why did they call him Robert?
–Diner, 22nd & 3rd
Not Another Teen Wednesday One-Liner
Teen in sideways cap: I touched it, but I didn’t like it.
–Uptown A Train
Overheard by: Ladle
Student: Dude, I think I’m dyslexic with stairs.
–Stuyvesant High School
Teen, seriously: No… Webkinz are definitely a lot more high-maintenance then neopets.
–Downtown 6 Train
Teenage boy: I want to be a Senator or something like that. Like, the Government is the best place to have sex.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Punk teen to friends: Even though it seemed like she was into things, now she’s not into anything.
–Union Square
Overheard by: i don’t like stuff either
