Archive for the ‘Poop’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners and the Pooper-Scooper

Hipster to her dog: You know, you really are the best pooper I know!

–Prince & MacDougal

Overheard by: Yann

Woman to dog: Why do you always have to pee on your paws? Oh, honey… Do not pee on your feet!

–12th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Thompson

Hispanic guy to his dog: What are you do – ? Why don’t you listen to me? What the hell — didn’t I tell you that is bad?!

–98th & Lex

Overheard by: Laughing my ass off

Queer to his yappy dog: No, no, no! You’ve already peed on that. You’ve peed on everything!

–28th St & 8th Ave

Woman to dog in baby talk: Yes, other people’s poo makes me very happy, yes!

–48th St & 9th Ave

Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster

That Stone was Pure Gall

Guido #1: She was givin’ me lip, so I returned the favor by pissing on her face.
Guido #2: For real dog, that’s what you gotta do.
Guido #1: I had to go anyways, so it was really two birds and a stone. 

–Fordham University, Rose Hill

Overheard by: Scotty H

Why DVD Rentals Are So Popular

Mom: Are you okay in there, sweetie?
Little girl in stall: I can’t button my pants.
Mom: It’s alright. Just come on out.
Little girl in stall: And I pooped on the floor.

–Bathroom, AMC Theatres, Times Square