Girl to friend: Oh, my God, I think I just left the most embarrassing thing in the bathroom. –Barnes & Noble Overheard by: V Woman to roommate: When we get home, we'll have embarrassing sexual accidents! –Pathmark, Massapequa Overheard by: Are they really accidents if you plan ahead? Nerdy TA: The thesis talk is kind of like the sex talk. It's a little embarrassing, no one really wants to give it, but it'll make you grow as adults. –Columbia University Girl to friend: I'm not embarrassed that I peed in his bed. I'm just not. –Columbia University Girl on cell: I saw it and I thought, "how embarrassing would it be riding on a bike with a nun." –Grand Central Overheard by: galgal
Girl #1: Sorry I’m late. I was constipated.
Girl #2: Do you want to take your shirt off? –21st & 3rd
Man on cell: It's a swollen, pus-filled sebaceous cyst… –Nathan's, West 32nd St Overheard by: SuzeV Chick leaving Duane Reade (exposing armpit): Air it out baby, air it out! –Duane Reade, 14th & 1st Overheard by: Lillian Guy to friends: I'm just gonna rub my shit all over her face. All over! –96th and Broadway Fat girl on cell: Oh my god, seriously. My mom is *so* nasty whenever we go out to eat somewhere. I'm not kidding. Like, she is *never* happy where we get seated, and she's like, "This silverware is smudgy! This glass has grit in it! The lighting is awful! The tectonic plates of this location are shifting, I demand a patio table!" I try to be as nice as I can to the wait staff to make up for her. Seriously. I've seen waiting. Please don't shave your asscrack hair into my food because my mom was a douchenozzle. –jet blue terminal, jfk Overheard by: now questioning my pizza ingredients Girl on cell: Yeah, you pretty much have the same body functions when you're dead as when you're alive. It's gross, but I love it. –Mercer b/w 3rd & 4th Overheard by: Threw up in my mouth a little bit
Woman to teen skater punks splashing in fountain: You know there's birdshit in that, right?
Lead teen skater punk: We're not drinking it! –55th St Water Fountain Overheard by: A little purel never hurt
Mom: Are you okay in there, sweetie?
Little girl in stall: I can’t button my pants.
Mom: It’s alright. Just come on out.
Little girl in stall: And I pooped on the floor. –Bathroom, AMC Theatres, Times Square
Guy: Give me a break, she’s into scat! She’ll eat shit, but she won’t lick some ketchup off my hand? –Folsom Street East Hipster chick: I didn’t get spat on. I wanted to real bad. But it didn’t happen. –3rd & St. Marks Overheard by: robothater
Boy to girl: Does it look like my ass is eating my pants? –Brooklyn Tech Overheard by: Julie Eight-year old girl: It’s not me, it’s the pants! It’s the pants! –81st & Roosevelt Ave Overheard by: Jobee Woman on cell: No. No. Absolutely not. Look, would you please put some pants on? –8th & Broadway Cop to his cop friends: My buns don’t look good in these pants. But hey, what can you do? It’s part of the uniform. –Times Square Shuttle Station Overheard by: Heather Girl on cell: Do you have to shit? Oh… So go in your pants! –Union Square Overheard by: Shira Incredulous thug to friend: You drop your pants to hop the train? –W. Houston & 1st Ave Overheard by: Jon A.
Woman on cell: I think they put onions in my sandwich. I’m running home now, let me call you when I get off the toilet. –Park Slope Overheard by: Anne C.
Disgusted girl: It smells like rats!
Guy: No, it's just shit you're smelling. –St Mark's & Ave A Overheard by: j
Hispanic guy to another, leaving restroom: Man, it smells like white man’s shit in there. –Trump Tower, 5th Ave Hobo to hispanic guy on cell: Are there any white people in this town? –Wyckoff & Troutman, Brooklyn Overheard by: they’re coming Woman: But it’s Aryan night… –116th & Broadway Hobo playing guitar: I’ve got three kids at home — I’ll take anything. I’ll take food stamps, hair weave, Chinese people’s money, change, food, weed… I’ll even take white people’s money. –1 train Overheard by: trooshieb Black lady: Harlem is up and coming, but it ain’t come up yet. I need to see a few more white people jogging at six a.m. before I sign a lease above 125th. –7 train