Teen ghetto girl: If you had a daughter…
Teen ghetto boy: If I had a daughter, there ain’t no way she’d be leavin’ the house with them short shorts and shit. And she fo’ sho’ wouldn’t be playin’ with them barbies. Barbies is evil. They mess with girls’ brains, makin’ them think they need to show off their shit and have babies when theys like 15. No barbies. Only puzzles.
–Manhattan bound N train
Overheard by: lauren
Guy #1: The horse?
Guy #2: SJP.
Guy #1: S…J…
Guy #2: Oh, for God’s sake: Sarah Jessica Parker! Don’t be so innuendo-challenged; nobody will invite you anywhere!
–Bedford & Clymer, Williamsburg
Tourist: Oh my god! That’s Maggie Gyllenhaal. She’s like, actually walking down the street!
–Magnolia Bakery
Overheard by: Jessica Blackshear
JAP: Do not mention that freaking African queen and her recycled husband!
–The Prime Grill, 49th Street
Twentysomething woman on cell: I’m gonna be late because I had to walk Drew Barrymore’s dog.
–in front of American Apparel, 7th Ave
Teen boy #1: Oh man, it was like an episode of I Love Lucy.
Teen boy #2: I love who?
Teen boy #1: Lucy. Oh man,you don’t know what I Love Lucy is? Bam! I ain’t your friend no more.
–Q train
Man: My friend asked me if they were shooting a movie, and I said,
“Yeah, it’s called Bombscare.”
–Astor Place
Jazz dude #1: Where is Sun Ra buried?
Jazz dude #2: Dude… Road trip!
–Virgin Megastore, Union Square
Overheard by: Abram
Girl: I’ve never had venison before.
Guy: Order it. You can taste Bambi. You can taste the innocence. And the fear.
–“A” Restaurant, Columbus Avenue
Six-year-old boy with SpongeBob toyboy: SpongeBob.
Nanny: SpongeBob?! You ain’t bringin SpongeBob in my house! What is it, anyway? A slice o’ cheese?
–L train, Bedford
Overheard by: jake
Young woman: I really want a boyfriend who is mean, who can say that, “I’m gonna kill him” and then looks down at his hand, and that laughs.
Older woman nods.
Young woman: You know, like those villians in movies with that grin, not the crazy ones who laugh but the ones who grin.
–NYU gym locker room
Hipster on cell: Okay. After my nap. Call me from the park once you are covered in glitter and I will come down.
–14th & B
Hipster chick: I’m totally boycotting the sun this summer.
–L train
Overheard by: Matt Ferrin
Guy on cell: …and I just told him, “I don’t care what you say. As far as I’m concerned, I am the star of a Broadway musical.”
–34th & 7th
Overheard by: Bridget Unnel