Archive for the ‘Pope’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Do the Vat­i­can Rag

Suit on cell: No, I’m not com­ing in today…I’m on the Up­per East Side. There’s all this traf­fic from the Pope’s “Don’t sodom­ize the kids” world tour.

–83rd & Lex

Guy at bar: Most Popes hate Jews.

–6th and D

Gamer kid: Yeah, I was in DC this week­end with the Pope… Yeah, I saw that mutha­fuc­ka.

–218th & Park Ter­race West

Over­heard by: Kel­ley

Old la­dy, about young girl: Oh, she looks nice. She’s wear­ing Pope shoes.

–Carmine St

Over­heard by: arct­i­nus

Goin’ to the Chapel and We’re Gonna Get Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Big bald guy: No, no, you don’t have to be or­dained to mar­ry peo­ple at the show. Just put on the Pope robe if you want to mar­ry peo­ple.

–Of­fice Build­ing, Hud­son St

Guy: I took your ad­vice, bro. I’m gonna mar­ry her in a lit­tle over three weeks. But… I got­ta get drunk first.

–Hous­ton & Broad­way

Over­heard by: erin

Suit #1 to suit #2: Well, maybe she won’t sign the pre-nup and then you’ll be free.

–Wall Street

Black chick: No! No! Ain’t no one get­tin’ lynched at my wed­ding!

–Food Di­men­sions, Myr­tle & Broad­way

Over­heard by: off white

Woman on cell: The on­ly time he gets to be him­self is when he goes away and that’s the way he saves the mar­riage… Oth­er­wise it’s “Mom­my, I don’t feel well’ and ‘Mom­my, may I be ex­cused from the ta­ble.”

–23rd St & 5th Ave

Over­heard by: Mugsy’s Moll

Goth chick on phone: He pro­posed to me while he was in me… Yea, well, I mean he told me af­ter that he re­al­ly meant it!

–Penn Sta­tion

Wednes­day One-lin­ers Read 1 Corinthi­ans

Queer on cell: So I saw this store that was go­ing out of business…Yeah, so I got a faith and three hopes…Or was it two faiths and three hopes?…Ha, yeah, there was­n’t any love or any­thing. I bet I could sell a faith to Madon­na for a hun­dred mil­lion dol­lars. Like, “Here you go, this is the most re­li­gious thing ever. More than you.…bitch.”…Ha, ha, yeah. “It has holy wa­ters from all over the world. The Pope came on it.”

–New School, West 13th Street

Over­heard by: jim­ster

Bloody Wednes­day One-lin­ers

Queer on cell: Yah, well, Ter­ri Schi­a­vo died this week, and so did the Pope. So it’s been a pret­ty good week.

–Chum­ley’s, Bed­ford Street

Over­heard by: Ini­tials

Girl on cell: Fuck­ety fuck fuck, I for­got to put on a tam­pon this morn­ing. Shit, shit, shit! I’m screwed, Lizette, I’m screwed.


Girl on cell: Don’t walk in the blood! Don’t walk in the blood! Oh ah aah!…Thanks la­dy, thanks for walk­ing in the blood.

–Es­sex & Riv­ing­ton

Over­heard by: Nicole A.