Archive for the ‘Post Office’ Category

My Guess? Lonely Man Mails Self Open Parcel

Guy: Why is that package open?
Clerk: I can’t open it.
Guy: It’s already opened, why is it open?
Clerk: Sir, I’m not allowed to open it. If you want it, sign the card.
Guy: I want to know why it’s open, is anything in it?
Clerk: I can’t open it.

3 minutes of this ensue.

Guy: Just give me the stupid package.
Clerk: Why are you still talking?

–Sunnyside post office

…And, Frankly, You're Lucky I'm Even Talking to You.

Man needing help: I need to get my passport renewed before I leave for a trip out of the country next week.
Lady at post office: We can expedite it, and you can have your new passport in two weeks.
Man needing help: But I'll be back from my trip to Mexico in less than two weeks.
Lady at post office: Well, we can expedite it and you'll get your passport back in two weeks.

–Post Office, Grand Central

Overheard by: Adam Lazarus

Because Postal Workers Are Legendary for Having Such Great Senses Of Humor

Post office dude: Where is this going to?
Chick: Germany.
Post office dude: Is there anything hazardous to your health in there?
Chick: Uh no, just magazines. And well, some of my hair that's stuck to that tape on the package as well.
Post office dude: Oh, I don't know what customs has to say about that. They will have to deal with that. But wait, I will check.
Chick: That was a joke! I'm not sending hair!
Post office dude: What, but you just said…
Chick: Wow. It was a lame joke! You can literally see half of my scalp under that tape. I tried to cut it with my teeth and and some of my hair got stuck under it… Nevermind!
Post office dude: Ugh. $16.56, please.

–Post Office, Brooklyn Heights

Thank Goodness I Had This Envelope to Blow My Nose On!

Small Jewish woman on the phone: Hey, so sorry, I'm running late. I'm just leaving my house now. I woke up with a horrible cold…
Post office worker: Miss?
Small Jewish woman on the phone: Oh wait… It's my turn… I'm actually in line at the post office… Oh and when I see you, absolutely no hugs, I am very contagious!

–Post Office, London Terrace

Overheard by: wish I had a bottle of purel