Archive for the ‘Preachers’ Category

Wednes­day RU-486-Lin­ers

Guy on cell: That’s the good thing about abortions–you can have like three a day.

–14th St & 6th Ave

Ghet­to dude: I told her, I was like “if you get preg­nant you best get an abor­tion, cause I ain’t help­ing you with that shit.” I mean, I would help her, but I got­ta get that shit in her head.

–N Train

Over­heard by: Jill

30-some­thing woman to boyfriend: There be some mutha­fuckas up in here who think this shit some form of birth con­trol. I’m woman enough; I gave birth to six kids. I ain’t doin’ it again.

–Abor­tion Clin­ic, Queens

Crazy guy on sub­way, preach­ing: You know why there’s 100 mil­lion Mex­i­cans in Amer­i­ca? Abor­tion!

–W Train

Get a Lit­tle Car­dio With­out Your Ears Bleed­ing

Loud evan­ge­list, shout­ing in packed sub­way car: And so I dis­cov­ered that Je­sus Christ is the on­ly mes­si­ah! I found the Lord! I found the truth and the light!
Trapped pas­sen­ger #1: Could you turn it down a lit­tle?
Loud evan­ge­list, shout­ing in packed sub­way car: I was a sin­ner! I spent thir­ty-five years run­ning from the word of the Lord!
Trapped pas­sen­ger #2: At least you could run…

–A Train

Over­heard by: peep­er

Son Of a Wednes­day One-Lin­er Man

Evan­ge­list out­side gym: You want to be a ma­cho man? Look at Je­sus!

–Broad­way & Prince

Street evan­ge­list on mi­cro­phone: Y’all ever see two fe­male pi­geons in bed to­geth­er?

–Ford­ham Plaza

Very ag­i­tat­ed priest: Je­sus was a zy­gote once–what if Mary abort­ed him?

–St. Luke’s Church, White­stone

Crazy sub­way evan­ge­list: If god could make me a good crack­head, you best be­lieve he could make me a good preach­er.

–E Train

Over­heard by: Gig­gling at crack

Preach­er: And that’s why your re­li­gion is null and void.

–Union Square

Over­heard by: Al­fie

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Click “It’s Com­pli­cat­ed”

Chick: It’s about your cy­ber per­son­al­i­ty, and if your cy­ber per­son­al­i­ty does­n’t want to be in a re­la­tion­ship with me on Face­book, that’s okay!

–NYU Hay­den Stair­case

Co­ed: I don’t know… if Sh­eryl* with the two kids by the two dif­fer­ent ba­by-dad­dies can have a good My­Space, I think pret­ty much any­one should be able to do it.

–Hunter Col­lege

Over­heard by: Im­mac­u­latePiz­za

Hip­ster girl: It looks like My­Space ex­plod­ed in there!

–The Knit­ting Fac­to­ry, 74 Leonard St

Over­heard by: Cassie

20-some­thing girl: So, the quad­ri­pleg­ic I hooked up with added me as a friend on Face­book last night.

–Chipo­tle, 51st & 8th

Geek prophet: No one is ever away from Google, re­al­ly.

–Near Hol­land Tun­nel

Over­heard by: Claire H.

An­gry chick, to boyfriend: Look, I’m not chang­ing my Face­book sta­tus!

–6th & Ave A

Over­heard by: Kremil­yse

30-ish woman: I said I would­n’t date him ’til he gets rid of the ty­pos on his My­Space pro­file… Am I a snob?

–Tom’s Din­er, Morn­ing­side Heights

Over­heard by: ball-and-vein­ing tool

Maybe She’s Born with It? Maybe It’s Wednes­day One-Lin­er.

Guy preach­ing on sub­way: I no­ticed I would al­ways get hit on by beau­ti­ful women when I was with a woman, so I start­ed hang­ing out with les­bians, and now we pick up women to­geth­er.

–1 Train

Over­heard by: Alex­is

Pan­han­dler go­ing through train: God bless you, will any­one spare some mon­ey? God bless you, damm! You have a pret­ty white girl­friend.

–6 Train

Over­heard by: Jack­ie

Woman giv­ing out free loot: You girls are so pret­ty, want some con­doms?

–Grand Cen­tral Sta­tion

Hobo: Why do rich men get to mar­ry all the pret­ty girls, kill them, and get away with it?

–125th St

Trashed girl, com­ing out of bath­room: I hate when guys say, “you’re pret­ty enough.”

–Bar 9, 54th & 9th

Over­heard by: La­dle

Big slob­by schlub, loud­ly talk­ing to bud­dy: So, she was about to be­come an­oth­er dis­pos­able pret­ty girl.

–W 66th St

Over­heard by: Su­san Vol­chok

Ram­bling crazy man: All of you women look beau­ti­ful, but in the end, y’all still have to take a shit!

–L Train

Over­heard by: The City Plan­ner

East­er Is­n’t Just About Cad­bury Creme Eggs

Deal­er: I got ec­sta­cy, I got crys­tal meth, I got hydro…OK, y’all have a nice hol­i­day.

–Wash­ing­ton Square park

Over­heard by: Mark Asch

Street Preach­er: Have you found Je­sus?!
Guy #1: Why? Did you lose him?
Street Preach­er: Have you found your Lord, our Sav­ior, Je­sus Christ?
Guy #2: Next time, try us­ing bet­ter fuck­ing nails!

–42nd & 8th

Over­heard by: eb

Guy: I think her East­er eggs say “Sa­tan” on them.

–27th Street of­fice