Archive for the ‘Preppies’ Category

Although It’s Possible Neve Campbell Is Still Alive

Preppy teen boy #1: No, dude. She was in love with horses, remember? She liked screwing them — that’s how she died.
Preppy teen boy #2: No, no. That is not true. It was some accident having to do with horses.
Preppy teen boy #1: Yeah, exactly. She was screwing the horse, and then it fell on her. That’s how she died.
Preppy teen boy #2: Dude, that’s so wrong.

–45th St

Overheard by: wow

Just Like Les Mis!

40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Hey! How’s it going?! Where are you from?
40-something regular guy: Seattle. You?
40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Newport Beach, California! What are you off to do?
40-something regular guy: Dinner and some drinks with friends. You?
40-something hyperactive preppy/golfer tourist: Me and a buddy are going to take mushrooms and go see Young Frankenstein for the third time! It’s hilarious when you’re high!

–Elevator, Sheraton Hotel

A Smorgashboard Of Wednesday One-Liners

Woman to man: I know! I don’t fry anything. I don’t even fry my food anymore.

–47th & 6th

Overheard by: A very disturbed Newsbunny

Old Jewish woman to husband holding restaurant leftovers: It’s a sin to waste that food. You could send it to Israel!

–Upper West Side

Overheard by: What a waste!

Preppy guy: At least *I’m* not the one molesting fictional cereal pitchmen.

–Park Slope, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Ladle

Girl on cell, talking loudly: I don’t know what I want, but whatever I want, I want French fries with it.

–John St

Preppy girl on cell: Do they study eggs? (pause) Eggs! (pause) Do they study eggs?

–Times Square

Female new student to boyfriend: You have to stop with this whole burrito-is-a-dick thing.

–6th Ave & 13th St

Overheard by: Catie

He Won’t Even Use Old Ones to Line His Bird’s Cage

Wanna-be preppy: Hey! Is that the newspaper?
Slacker: Yeah.
Wanna-be preppy: Let’s have a look at it.
(slacker throws paper into locker and locks locker)
Wanna-be preppy: Aw, why did you do that?
Slacker: I can’t let you see it. It’s not mine.
Wanna-be preppy: Whose is it?
Slacker: My girlfriend’s brother. He’s really sensitive…
Wanna-be preppy: Really sensitive about the newspaper?

–Midtown

Overheard by: Kane

Wednesday One-Liners Are Just “Sociable”

Drunk gay man: I’ve slept with more men than my mom has!

–Ave A

Overheard by: Let his own mom win that contest

Woman to man: I don’t want to be known as the whore of New Yorkers.

–9th Ave & 44th St

Woman on cell: It’s just sex. There’s no way you guys can ever be permanently tied, or anything.

–Macy’s

Preppy, middle-aged woman, about man on iPhone: Who is that whore?

–Bookstore, Brooklyn

Overheard by: ‑she probably said

Morlock v. Eloi: The Prequel

A thugged out girl tests all of her ring tones as loud as possible for a solid minute.

Preppy girl: Are you serious with that? Can you do everyone a favor and stop?
Thug girl: I know you’re not talking to me. You messed with the wrong girl.
Preppy girl: I’m sorry, I can’t hear you. Your screaming phone made me deaf.
Thug girl: I’ll f her up. But then she’ll call the cops; her people love the cops. Go back to where you came from!
Preppy girl: I’m trying to. That’s why I’m on the train, you stupid bitch. Look, you got a new cell phone and that’s great, but figure it out at home.
Thug girl: I’ll f you up. You’re f‑ing with the wrong girl. Don’t be fooled by the pretty face.
Preppy girl: Pretty face? Where?

–N train

Overheard by: Matty M.