Archive for the ‘Preppies’ Category

None of Them Would Talk to Me

Prep­py guy #1: How was that bar in Mid­town?
Prep­py guy #2: Dude, it was awe­some… It was full of hot chicks.
Prep­py guy #1: If it was so great, why did you text me eight times in one hour and are now stand­ing next to me piss­ing at this bar?

–Re­stroom, De­lancey Bar

Over­heard by: Al

Hey, Mind If I Take Your Wal­let?

Ema­ci­at­ed goth/punk guy: Hey, do you know where a CVS is?
Passer­by suit: I don’t know what that is…
Passer­by prep­py girl: Are you look­ing for a CVS?
Ema­ci­at­ed goth/punk guy: Yes!
Prep­py girl: Well, there’s a Du­ane Reade right there, it’s like, the same thing.
Ema­ci­at­ed goth/punk guy, mat­ter-of-fact­ly: I know, it’s just im­pos­si­ble to steal from Du­ane Reade.
Prep­py girl: Oh.
Ema­ci­at­ed goth/punk guy: I’m re­al­ly poor.
Prep­py girl: Okay.
Ema­ci­at­ed goth/punk guy, cheer­ful: Thanks any­way!
Prep­py girl, al­so cheer­ful: You’re wel­come!

–Colum­bus Cir­cle

Over­heard by: Han­nah

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Too Ashamed to Wear Last Year’s Blah­niks

La­dy look­ing at an­oth­er wom­an’s Ro­man san­dals: I don’t like those Je­sus-lookin’ san­dals!

–The Vil­lage

Girl: Do flats make your butt look big?

–9th St & 3rd Ave

Over­heard by: Matt Mor­gan

Guy with faux-hawk: You know in Pee-wee’s Big Ad­ven­ture, af­ter he los­es his bike and every­one around him is rid­ing bi­cy­cles? I feel that way with high-tops right now.

–14th & 1st

Over­heard by: Heather

(trendy, skin­ny, Up­per West Side woman on side­walk is star­ing down at her feet and look­ing con­cerned)
Prep­py 30-some­thing boyfriend: I think your toes look bet­ter in those san­dals.

–86th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Sushene

Girl: My un­cle is gay, like, fly­ing-out-of-his-loafers gay.

–W 67th & Broad­way

Over­heard by:

Fe­male cop to two male cops: So he’s stand­ing there, re­al­ly well dressed, nice shoes, and all of a sud­den he pulls out this big, big (voice drops) bon­er, and says “Give me the shoes!”

–Con­ti­nen­tal Ave Sta­tion, For­est Hills