Archive for the ‘Private Parts’ Category

You May Need to Ex­fo­li­ate and Mois­tur­ize

Teenage girl #1: Ew, I have such bad dan­druff. I need to like get rid of it be­cause I can nev­er wear black.
Teenage girl #2: Ew I know, me too! Ex­cept I have crotch dan­druff.
Teenage girl #1: Umm… What’s that?
Teenage girl #2: I don’t know but every time I scratch my crotch it looks like it’s snow­ing.

–A Train

Over­heard by: Does that mean she can’t wear black pants?

The Un­bear­able Light­ness Of Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Rasta­far­i­an man to white bas­ket­ball fe­male play­er with dreads: Hey! Why you white peo­ple al­ways try­ing to look like me!

–Union Square

Black guy sell­ing Em­pire State Build­ing tick­ets: You’re from Scot­land? I love the Scots… They’re pu­u­u­u­u­u­ur­rreee white!

–Out­side Em­pire State Build­ing

Black woman to an­oth­er, about frat guys near­by: Man, white peo­ple are so loud.

–109th & Am­s­ter­dam

Over­heard by: Becks

Black hobo to white teen: Get out of this neigh­bor­hood with your white crotch! You don’t be­long here!

–Up­per West Side

Black woman to cops walk­ing away: But I’m a Cau­casian!

–Bed-Stuy

Keep Your Wednes­day One-Lin­er in Your Pants, Dude

Prep­py guy: This may be the last thing I say with my pe­nis at­tached, but…

–Park Slope

Over­heard by: Hunter

Girl on cell: Well, I mean… his pe­nis is re­al­ly im­por­tant here, if his is bet­ter I’ll take him!

–26th St & Lex­ing­ton Ave

Over­heard by: your mom

Asian guy: Every­one else was on the floor. Every­one had a pe­nis in their face.

–D Train

Over­heard by: Jon A.

Girl on cell: All I’m say­ing is: don’t jump on the first pe­nis that comes along!

–Broad­way

Boss, about weightlift­ing: My gen­i­tals were so in­vert­ed I used to crap my pe­nis.

–5th Ave

Teacher: There are about six eu­phemisms for “pe­nis” in the first scene!

–Ju­nior High School

Over­heard by: gaby­gril­lz