Archive for the ‘Promiscuity’ Category

Easy, Breezy, Beautiful: Wednesday One-Liners

Woman on phone: So, should I continue not being a whore or should I go get an emergency Brazilian?

–Lexington Ave & 58th

Girl to friend: No, I can’t do tomorrow afternoon. I am getting waxed for the weekend. Just in case.

–3rd Ave & 80th St

Salesgirl to customer: You so have an exfoliating face!

–Sephora, 57th & Lexington

Overheard by: Amanda

Creepy hobo on payphone: So, you’re doing your nails? Mmmmmm…

–Bleecker & Thompson

Overheard by: Thompson

Girl with pounds of makeup on: Yeah, I’m going on lunch right now. I am so exhausted, I did five makeovers today. Yeah, I am so tired…I had a butch.

–Elevator, Macy’s

Overheard by: K Melv

Thug: All I want is a mani-pedi.

–72nd & Central Park West

Overheard by: wb

Here We See the Archetypal Enabler

Teen girl #1: Yeah, so John totally wants me to give him head even though I barely know him and we’ve never even hooked up.
Teen girl #2: That’s so weird.
Teen girl #1: I know! It’d be such a slutty thing to do. And I’ve never even given a blowjob before.
Teen girl #2: Yeah, totally.
Teen girl #1: Then again, I feel like giving head is something I should do before I turn 16.
Teen girl #2: Good point.
Teen girl #1: So I’m totally going to do it.
Teen girl #2: Awesome, I can give you tips!

–Metro-North

You’ve Been Waiting for an Excuse to Use That One, Haven’t You?

NYU girl: I’m not surprised that she has mono. I mean, she’s been a slut for a while now. It was bound to catch up with her.
Friend: Yeah, she’s a reverse jukebox.
NYU girl: A what?
Friend: You know how you put money into a jukebox and it makes noise? Guys put their dicks in her to make her shut the fuck up.

–NYU Silver Center

Wednesday One-Liners Are Just “Sociable”

Drunk gay man: I’ve slept with more men than my mom has!

–Ave A

Overheard by: Let his own mom win that contest

Woman to man: I don’t want to be known as the whore of New Yorkers.

–9th Ave & 44th St

Woman on cell: It’s just sex. There’s no way you guys can ever be permanently tied, or anything.

–Macy’s

Preppy, middle-aged woman, about man on iPhone: Who is that whore?

–Bookstore, Brooklyn

Overheard by: ‑she probably said

Figures Don’t Lie

Girl: How long since we broke up is it okay for my ex to start having sex?
Guy: Who broke up with who?
Girl: I broke up with him last week. He slept with four girls since.
Guy: I think if you broke up with him, it’s okay for him.
Girl: Damn, cause I only slept with one guy since. But I did cheat on him with three guys, so we’re even.

–21st St

Overheard by: learning something new everyday

What 21st Century Chivalry Looks Like

20-ish chick: That girl beasted your seat.
College guy: Which girl?
20-ish chick: Some girl — when you got up she made a beeline for your seat.
College guy: Was she hot?
20-ish chick: What?

–Barnes & Noble, Astor Pl

Overheard by: she was hot

Wednesday One-Liners Enjoy Team Sports

20-something guy on BlackBerry: No, he’s not gay. I was in a fivesome with him, but he’s not gay.

–L Train

Girl to gay friend after walking into gay bar: Dude, either find me a straight boy or two Asians that will let me watch.

–NYC

Girl to guy friends: I mean, he’s okay he had the threesome–the guy was his best friend!

–8th St & 5th Ave

Angry woman on phone: While you’re out having orgies I am doing the real work!

–Victorian Flatbush

Pretentious professor type in academic tone: My ex had unrealistic fantasies. She used to dream about being fucked by God and Satan and the same time. How could I live up to that?

–NYU