Archive for the ‘Promiscuity’ Category

Re­mem­ber That Hip­ster who Re­ferred to My­Space as ‘Friend­ster but for Artists’?

His­pan­ic teen #1: Oh my God girl! You’re such a fuck­ing bitch!
His­pan­ic teen #2: Pshaa… Nig­ga please, I got like 300 friends on My­Space and you on­ly got like 100, bitch.
His­pan­ic teen #1: At least I did­n’t sleep with all my 300 friends.
His­pan­ic teen #2: You are so off my top 14.
His­pan­ic teen #1: You aren’t even on mine, so I dont give a shit.
His­pan­ic teen #2: Bitch

–Union Square

Over­heard by: Bryan

As­sum­ing You En­joyed Any of That

Teen girl #1: How many guys have you slept with?
Teen girl #2: Let’s see… There was the rape — ha­ha, re­mem­ber that? I don’t count him. Then there were the two guys I had butt sex with. Let’s not count that ei­ther. I’d say about nine? I can’t re­mem­ber the ex­act num­ber.
Teen girl #1: Oh, you’re fine, then.

–Grand Cen­tral

Over­heard by: Claire

You May Now Kiss the Wednes­day One-Lin­er

Woman: Just be­cause I’m mar­ried does­n’t mean I have to touch him!

–W 32nd & 5th

Street preach­er point­ing at ladies in short skirts: We’ve got­ta get them mar­ried! We can’t be havin’ them for­ni­cat­ing in the streets!

–59th & 5th

La­dy on cell: I mean, there were some fun­ny pic­tures… Whit­ney freak­ing on me just is­n’t what I had in mind… I just don’t re­al­ly want pic­tures of beer pong in my wed­ding al­bum, y’­know?

–Gramer­cy Park

20-ish girl on cell: Grand­ma, it is so im­por­tant that you are at my wed­ding. I need to have you there… Dad and I were talk­ing, and we’re go­ing to get you a re­fund­able tick­et… Just in case any­thing hap­pens.

–Chi­na­town­bus

Over­heard by: Kaiti

Man to friend: No, it’s over. We had the wed­ding planned and every­thing and then she nev­er got a di­vorce.

–NJ Tran­sit to Penn Sta­tion

Wednes­day One-Lin­er: The Mu­si­cal

Girl to class: I love clas­si­cal mu­sic! I lis­ten to the Bam­bi sound­track all the time!

–Cur­tis High School, Stat­en Is­land

Guy in lob­by, at in­ter­mis­sion: Hands down, the best band I’ve ever seen in con­cert… Hootie and the Blow­fish.

–Jazz at Lin­coln Cen­ter

Guy on cell: I guess they’re mu­si­cians. They put bitch­es ahead of prac­tice.

–79th St b/w York & 1st

Over­heard by: Queixa

Gay man to an­oth­er, walk­ing out of a bank: I mean, if you lis­ten to like, one Sade song every six years, it’s okay.

–15th St & 8th Ave

Les­bian: Fuck her! All she wants to do is stay home and sit in the kitchen and drink beer and lis­ten to Melis­sa Etheridge! Fuck her! She can take a cab home!

–Stat­en Is­land

Over­heard by: Ka­teri

Straight girl with a seat at the pi­ano: No, I’ve nev­er been here be­fore, but I’m ac­tu­al­ly hav­ing a good time. I mean, I don’t know most of these songs, but ear­li­er he was play­ing The Sound of Mu­sic, and I was rock­ing out to that.

–Marie’s Cri­sis Pi­ano Bar

Over­heard by: Dun­can Pflaster

Crazy old cat la­dy to guy who just shut off ob­nox­ious­ly loud mu­sic in next lane: Why’d you shut it off? I liked that song!

–Marathon Park­way & North­ern Boule­vard

He Tricked Me!

Cute girl #1: So you know how my New Year’s res­o­lu­tion was to… keep my legs closed a lit­tle bet­ter?
Cute girl #2: Yes. I did know that. Good one.
Cute girl #1: Well, I had my first slip-up in up­hold­ing it.
Cute girl #2: But it’s Jan­u­ary 2!

–Bleeck­er & Bow­ery

Over­heard by: Unim­pressed, but amused