Archive for the ‘Prostitutes’ Category

Chris­t­ian Siri­ano: “Wednes­day Is a Hot One-Lin­er Mess”

Dis­co-glam drag queen: It was! It was ba­by oil, and I knew it!

–Rubu­lad, Bed-Stuy

Over­heard by: Katie

Black drag queen in ki­mono: I’m a corn pone South­ern fag­got, we do not do yo­ga.

–Tribeca

Over­heard by: Ryan K

Hys­ter­i­cal Lati­na trans­ves­tite: My life is in my ass, mi­jo!

–2 Train

Over­heard by: Jean

Drag queen hook­er to old­er la­dy star­ing at her: You so wish you could wear a one­sie like me.

–MTA

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers in Clear Heels

Woman on cell: I may or may not have just ac­ci­den­tal­ly be­come a sex work­er.

–40th & 9th

Over­heard by: McF­reaky

At­trac­tive gay man to boyfriend: If I had a bet­ter body, I would be a pros­ti­tute.

–W 4th & 6th Ave

Over­heard by: rpk

Girl to friends: Just slap me! Slap me like a Thai hook­er, for god’s sake.

–115th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: co­lum­bia un­der­grad

Five-year-old boy: Mom, what’s a gigo­lo?

–6 Train

Over­heard by: Jus­tine

Woman yelling in­to a cell: For the love of god, I’m sleep­ing with men for crack. Do you re­al­ly think that would mess with my list of pri­or­i­ties?

–2nd Ave & Hous­ton

Over­heard by: Won­ders what the sug­ges­tion was

20-some­thing woman on cell: Wait–am I in the sex in­dus­try?

–NJ Tran­sit

Over­heard by: Poo­gins

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Will Do Any­thing but Kiss on the Mouth

Woman: Yeah, but just be­cause you can play a dy­ing crack­whore in Rent, that does­n’t mean that you can play a dy­ing crack­whore in Les Mis — they’re two dif­fer­ent kinds of whores!

–Broad­hurst The­atre

Co­lum­bia chick: Yeah, I’d be the Moth­er There­sa of pros­ti­tutes.

–Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty

Cou­ple ar­gu­ing on the street: You want to talk about the truth, fine — let’s talk about the truth! What about that time I found you up­stairs in our apart­ment smok­ing crack with that pros­ti­tute?

–2nd Ave & E 5th St

Over­heard by: Awestruck Iowan

Girl: Well, of course I’m mad… She’s tak­ing my pimp from me!

–Mall

An­nounc­er: There is a ‘B’-as-in-‘brothel’ train ap­proach­ing the sta­tion.

–59th St, Colum­bus Cir­cle Sta­tion

Over­heard by: Jen­nifer

Chick on cell: I think we’re all hy­po­thet­i­cal hook­ers, to some ex­tent.

–Harlem

Over­heard by: McF

King: I’ll Take the Hook­er, Thank You

Teacher: If you were con­vict­ed of mur­der, who would you send to ride to the king to get a par­don?
Stu­dent: A rid­er.
Teacher: Can you spell that? Do you mean a ‘writer’?
Stu­dent: R‑I-D-E‑R — some­one who is good with hors­es.
Teacher: So what is im­por­tant is his sports­man­ship?
Stu­dent: Maybe a ser­vant? A friend of the king?
Teacher: What is one of the old­est pro­fes­sions?
Stu­dent: A pros­ti­tute?
Teacher: A lawyer!

–New York Law School

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Know the Guys Down at Vice a Lit­tle Too Well

Sassy woman: No, no, no, no. What I don’t think you un­der­stand is, his par­ents are his moth­er and a pimp.

–33rd & 8th

Over­heard by: Alex

Drunk girl: I don’t want to be sold for five dol­lars on the street!

–1st Ave be­tween 2nd & 3rd

Over­heard by: Ki­ra

Record la­bel co­or­di­na­tor: This com­pa­ny needs a hit like a crack­whore on pay­day.

–150 5th Ave

Ad­dic­tion ex­pert: I don’t think he’s ad­dict­ed to porn, but I think he does, like, coke off hook­ers’ ass­es.

–6 train, 68th St

Old Jew­ess: I could­n’t tell if they were singers or pros­ti­tutes.

–1 train, 42nd St

Over­heard by: Kim­dog

Man on cell: So then the hook­er walked in with a squeegee. Then I knew it had gone way too far!

–Times Square

Guy: She’s kind of the Pres­i­dent of the Pros­ti­tute Guild.

–Hugh­es Ave, the Bronx

Over­heard by: Jess Mc­Gins

The Tech­ni­cal Term Is ‘Crack Whore’

Drunk girl #1: I can’t be­lieve he of­fered us $20 for that.
Drunk girl #2: We should have just took it. $20 is $20. We did­n’t even have to do any­thing. We did­n’t even have to look!
Drunk girl #1: Yeah, true, but can you imag­ine if those oth­er two came around the cor­ner while he was do­ing that.
Drunk girl #2: Yeah, you’re right. They would not on­ly think we were crack­heads, but pros­ti­tutes too.

–Wood­lawn