Archive for the ‘Prostitution’ Category

A Few Sucky Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Brunette woman yelling on cell: Look, I’m 24 fuck­ing years old. If I want to suck dick all day, that’s my busi­ness!

–Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Blank Slater

Girl on cell: First you go, “ac­c­ck­kk… ac­c­ck­kkk” (makes chok­ing sounds) Then you have a mouth ful­la cum!

–Madi­son Ave

Over­heard by: I.R.

50-some­thing woman, scream­ing in­to cell: Lis­ten, ass­hole, I’m not some cheap slut you can call when­ev­er you need some­one to suck you off, I have a job!

–Penn Sta­tion Taxi Line

Black man in phone booth: You bet­ter suck that juicy white cock, and get me that per­fume, bitch!

–7th Ave & 35th St

“And When You Give Them Your Car Keys, And Your ATM Card”

Bux­om Blonde: One night stands can be re­al­ly hot, it’s great for a night of fun.
Male Date: You know what’s even hot­ter? When you don’t know their name and you nev­er talk to them again.
Blonde: Yeah, and when you give them $200 at the end of the night.
Male: Yeah, that’s re­al­ly hot.

–Deci­bel Sake Bar

Over­heard by: cara

I Was Sick for Take Your Daugh­ter to Work Day.

Long Is­land girl: 42nd St is where there is lots of pros­ti­tu­tion, right?
Fe­male friend: What?
Long Is­land girl: Yeah, I thought I heard that 42nd St was where all the pros­ti­tutes were?
Fe­male friend: Ummm…that’s like Times Square. It’s a ma­jor touristy spot.
Male friend: Maybe there’s an oc­ca­sion­al strip club?
Long Is­land girl: Oh my god, I re­al­ly want to go to a strip club–I’ve nev­er been to one be­fore!

–6 Train

Over­heard by: Amused

Head­line by: 1310 (for­mer­ly SNA)

Run­ners-Up:
· “As the Eco­nom­ic Cri­sis Wors­ens, Margie Be­comes In­creas­ing­ly Des­per­ate for a Job.” — Car­la
· “I Thought Mass Tourism WAS Whor­ing Your­self Out ?” — Cass
· “If Par­ents Don’t Have the Sex In­dus­try Talk, Some­one Else Will” — space coy­ote
· “Long Is­landers and Tourists Have Be­come One.” — Fres­ca
· “That’s How They Get New Re­cruits” — Skw­erl!

Click here to see the new Head­line Con­test

Hey, Wednes­day, Your One-Lin­er Is Show­ing!

Mid­dle-aged woman, an­gri­ly on cell: You tell him to go out­side right now, and take his clothes off!

–32nd St & Park Ave

Over­heard by: djlori

Girl to friend: All of a sud­den there’s a naked man! Like, this does­n’t trans­late well vi­su­al­ly.

–Up­town 1 Train

Suit on cell: How about I send you two naked kids to have a good time? Fair enough?

–60th St & Colum­bus Ave

Over­heard by: Stacey V

Girl on phone: Top­less an­ar­chy is still an­ar­chy, man.

–5 Train

Short dude to friend: I woke up naked and wrapped in cellophane–again!

–Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty

CNN Needs More Scratch­ing and Weave-Pulling

Black girl #1, af­ter watch­ing Eliot Spitzer’s apol­o­gy: Did you see the wife? She was just standin’ there!
Black girl #2: That’s cause she’s not black. If that was me, I’­da took off my ring and throwed it at his head.
Black girl #1: Mmmh­mm. If she was black, she’d a keeped it re­al.

–Ed­ward R. Mur­row High School

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Know How to Dick­er

Lit­tle gang­ster kid: Yo, the last time I went fish­ing I got a fish­ing lure stuck in my dick.

–Prospect Park, Brook­lyn

Hobo: Every­body’s some­body on my dick!

–Union Square

Over­heard by: Re­bec­ca

Girl, to male co-work­er: Can you be a lit­tle more sub­tle and not such a dick-swinger about your Am­s­tel Light?

–Conde Nast Bldg, 57th & 8th

Over­heard by: Ken­zi

Woman: At least I don’t suck dicks for free!

–Broad­way and Put­nam, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Tom­mi

Drunk col­lege stu­dent: My re­deem­ing fac­tor is I will suck fuck­ing dick to make mon­ey.

–Rock­e­feller Cen­ter

Over­heard by: dank

Guy on cell: Take it like a bowl of dicks.

–14th & 5th

Over­heard by: John­ny Bon­san­to

Fat guy: So I asked her, and she gave me her num­ber, and then it was dis­con­nect­ed. So I went back the next week, and she was­n’t work­ing there any­more. So I won­dered, did she quit her job just to avoid suck­ing my dick?

–Bleeck­er & Sul­li­van

Over­heard by: Car­o­line