Archive for the ‘Prostitution’ Category

Are Wednesday One-Liners Funny Ha-Ha, or Funny-Peculiar?

Guy eating pancakes: Everything’s funny in retrospect, like the time I got that screwdriver stuck in my eye.

–IHOP, Brooklyn

Ancient Greek civilization professor: A sexual act, in some sense, for an observer is funny.

–Hunter College

Crazy lady: All the prostitutes need to be rounded up and stuck in churches! (teen girl laughs) You think that’s funny? It’s not gonna be funny when you are in a hospital addicted to crack!

–Water St & Broad St

Girl to her friend: Wouldn’t it be funny if human beings could only walk forward and backwards?

–8th St & 2nd Ave

Lady sitting with girlfriends: It’s funny because I’m pregnant, and he doesn’t know.

–Starbucks

Drunken Jets fan to friends in Jets jerseys: That’s not funny. You want to see something funny? (grabs wooden signpost, slams forehead into it) That’s funny!

–W 4th & Barrow

Overheard by: jira monkey

Wednesday One-Liners Will Do Anything but Kiss on the Mouth

Woman: Yeah, but just because you can play a dying crackwhore in Rent, that doesn’t mean that you can play a dying crackwhore in Les Mis — they’re two different kinds of whores!

–Broadhurst Theatre

Columbia chick: Yeah, I’d be the Mother Theresa of prostitutes.

–Columbia University

Couple arguing on the street: You want to talk about the truth, fine — let’s talk about the truth! What about that time I found you upstairs in our apartment smoking crack with that prostitute?

–2nd Ave & E 5th St

Overheard by: Awestruck Iowan

Girl: Well, of course I’m mad… She’s taking my pimp from me!

–Mall

Announcer: There is a ‘B’-as-in-‘brothel’ train approaching the station.

–59th St, Columbus Circle Station

Overheard by: Jennifer

Chick on cell: I think we’re all hypothetical hookers, to some extent.

–Harlem

Overheard by: McF