Archive for the ‘Psychology’ Category

Not Another Teen Wednesday One-Liner

Teen in sideways cap: I touched it, but I didn't like it.

–Uptown A Train

Overheard by: Ladle

Student: Dude, I think I'm dyslexic with stairs.

–Stuyvesant High School

Teen, seriously: No… Webkinz are definitely a lot more high-maintenance then neopets.

–Downtown 6 Train

Teenage boy: I want to be a Senator or something like that. Like, the Government is the best place to have sex.

–Bard High School, Queens

Overheard by: Sunny

Punk teen to friends: Even though it seemed like she was into things, now she's not into anything.

–Union Square

Overheard by: i don't like stuff either

But How Could He Know?

Guy: I don’t know what happened. I was talking to my roommate, and then next thing I know, I’m sitting on the couch in front of the TV eating peanut butter with a spoon. I don’t know how I got there.
Girl: Wow…Do you do that a lot?
Guy: What, black out?
Girl: No, eat peanut butter like that.
Guy: Oh, um…yeah, I guess so.

–G train, Greenpoint Ave

Overheard by: G train enthusiast

Wednesday One-Liners Call the Hotline Every Week

Teen girl, despairingly: If they ever find out a way to bring people back to life, I’m going to kill myself!

–14th St Subway Platform

Overheard by: yoncto

Blonde on cell: Don’t send me stupid things about how you want to stab yourself in the heart. It’s inconsiderate.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Confabulation Nation

Hipster: I’m so stressed out right now; if I was going to NYU, I would’ve jumped out of a building.

–City College

Overheard by: Damn Right!

Guy on cell: You took them with alcohol? [Pause.] Wait, let me get this straight, you took all of them, then you got drunk? Yeah dude, that is just suicide.

–Elevator, Saks Fifth Ave

Old waitress: Were you here the time Jimmy crucified himself?

–Manhattan Restaurant, Greenpoint

Overheard by: chris

Disgruntled Latina to friend: And I told her bitch: "Kill yourself, you don’t even know how to smoke right!"

–4 Train

Wednesday One-liners Read in Union Square

Stoner: We’re on the verge of a spiritual revolution. It’s like Fight Club…but without the violence.

–Union Square

Overheard by: braun bowery

Guy: The fact that bar was full of ugly girls is just ridiculous.

–Union Square

Crazy lady: Fine, stay where you are, Linda! Stay on the streets, stay in the gutter…but put all your stuff away!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Jen

Woman: If I die of malaria, you can have my DVD player.

–Union Square

Lady on cell: …so what’s the difference between the East Village and the West Village?

–Union Square

Overheard by: feitclub

Guy on cell: I didn’t throw the lamp at you because I was out of control, I threw the lamp at you because you said I was out of control.

–Union Square

Overheard by: John

Guy: Dude! At least you’re getting head. Bad head is better than no head, any day of the week!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Joy Smoker