Archive for the ‘Psychology’ Category

He Won’t Even Use Old Ones to Line His Bird’s Cage

Wan­na-be prep­py: Hey! Is that the news­pa­per?
Slack­er: Yeah.
Wan­na-be prep­py: Let’s have a look at it.
(slack­er throws pa­per in­to lock­er and locks lock­er)
Wan­na-be prep­py: Aw, why did you do that?
Slack­er: I can’t let you see it. It’s not mine.
Wan­na-be prep­py: Whose is it?
Slack­er: My girl­friend’s broth­er. He’s re­al­ly sen­si­tive…
Wan­na-be prep­py: Re­al­ly sen­si­tive about the news­pa­per?

–Mid­town

Over­heard by: Kane

In the 70s They Called That a ‘Nose Job’.

JAP: I did the whole Manhattan/Long Island/Westchester Jew thing this year.
Guy: How’d that work out?
JAP: I think I’m go­ing to cut that phase in my life.

–NYU

Over­heard by: A. Pin­cus

Head­line by: Still got my orig­i­nal nose.

Run­ners-Up:
· “By Which I Mean the In­side Of My Thigh” — Tadzio
· “I Re­al­ized I Can Keep the Sense Of En­ti­tle­ment With­out All That Ex­tra Work.” — stooby­doo
· “I Think Hitler Tried That Al­ready.…” — Sarah Booz
· “I’ll Tell the Guy Who’s Ghost-Writ­ing My Au­to­bi­og­ra­phy Lat­er To­day” — Louis
· “JAP Code for I Was Slut­ty and Need an Abor­tion” — Ca­su­al Ob­serv­er
· “Sort Of a “Lifestyle Bris”” — Chris

Click here to see the new Head­line Con­test

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Seek Asy­lum

Chick on cell: God, is she crazy? Even I would­n’t do that, and I’m a to­tal slut.

–39th St & 3rd Ave

NYU girl on cell: Yeah, she re­al­ly is a crazy bitch. At least I’m get­ting a book out of it, though. I’m go­ing to call it Next Year I’ll Be in a New Room, But You’ll Still Be Fuck­ing Nuts.

–Wash­ing­ton Square Park

Con­duc­tor: Some­one has lost a bag of mar­bles in the cafe car. I re­peat, we have a bag of mar­bles found in the cafe car. Has any­one lost their mar­bles?

–Am­trak, Penn Sta­tion

Com­mu­ni­ca­tions & me­dia stud­ies pro­fes­sor: I don’t mean to pon­tif­i­cate, but this is the last day of class and I have some im­por­tant ad­vice for you — nev­er sleep with any­one who is cra­zier than you are. It can get you in a lot of trou­ble.

–Ford­ham Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: Switch­ing De­part­ments

10-year-old boy wait­ing for mom: Hooray, hooray, I’m in­sane, I’m in­sane, okay!

–Out­side Met Food, Corte­ly­ou Rd & E 16th St, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: Leela

Not An­oth­er Teen Wednes­day One-Lin­er

Teen in side­ways cap: I touched it, but I did­n’t like it.

–Up­town A Train

Over­heard by: La­dle

Stu­dent: Dude, I think I’m dyslex­ic with stairs.

–Stuyvesant High School

Teen, se­ri­ous­ly: No… We­bkinz are def­i­nite­ly a lot more high-main­te­nance then neopets.

–Down­town 6 Train

Teenage boy: I want to be a Sen­a­tor or some­thing like that. Like, the Gov­ern­ment is the best place to have sex.

–Bard High School, Queens

Over­heard by: Sun­ny

Punk teen to friends: Even though it seemed like she was in­to things, now she’s not in­to any­thing.

–Union Square

Over­heard by: i don’t like stuff ei­ther