Girl #1: I will not touch your chest on a crowded subway.
Girl #2: Some other place, then.
–4 Train
Archive for the ‘Public Transportation’ Category
Somewhere, A Sardine is Turning Green with Envy
Two tween girls push into a very crowded train, causing a woman to almost lose her footing.
Woman: You can’t just push if there’s nowhere to go!
The doors start to close.
Tween girl: Obviously I could.
–6 train
Overheard by: Francesca
Thousands Of ’em Come in on the PATH Train Every Day
Father, holding toddler son: Alright, I’m bored. Let’s go try and find some rats.
Toddler son: Oh! Rats!
–1 Train
Overheard by: John
From the People Who Brought You Seaman, Dyckman, and Gay Streets…
MTA conductor: Rector street is next. The next stop is rector street.
Old lady tourist to friend: Rector… Rector… Rectum.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Well, we’ve all thought it
You Can’t Judge a Wednesday by Its One-Liner
College student: This is the best Barnes & Noble I’ve ever seen!
–Borders, Time Warner Center
Student: So, the author of the Tao Te Ching, Lao-low… Fuck it, we’re calling him L‑train.
–Eugene Lang College
Overheard by: Harker
Large woman with friends: Oh, girl, I got to tell you about this book I’m reading. It’s off the hook! They’re sending in this undercover agent, and I think it’s his sister, but he’s all getting ready to have sex with her!
–White Castle, 36th & 8th
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Woman on phone: I was in Union Square, so I stopped in Barnes & Noble. (pause) Nigga, I can read!
–Union Square
Little British boy: Oh my goodness, dad, look! They have books on dating. How to Date? is probably like, “Don’t take her to McDonald’s!”
–Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: Laura
Tattooed artsy guy, putting hand on artsy Asian girl’s shoulder: I read your book and really liked it… lotta pissing, huh?
–Mott & Prince
You Overheard It Here First?
Woman: I assure you, every subway I ride does not have a camera.
Bus driver: The conductor has a screen in front of him; every car.
–B63 bus
Or Trains at All! Why Go On?
Conductor: There will be no Seven Train service today.
Hardhat: Good. After the Mets lose, we don’t need the fucking Seven Train!
–6 train
Overheard by: phenders
The Sum Of All Wednesday One-Liners
Woman on cell: And when my brother got near him, his poop came out. That’s how scared he was.
–107th & Broadway
Woman on cell: So yeah, they are really scary, like if you walk in the house they will bark really loud, and that’s totally worse than them biting you.
–Majestic Theater
Girl on cell: I went in for genetic counseling and I found out things that scared me.
–10th Ave & 39th St
Overheard by: Todd Fletcher
Girl on cell: No, you can’t go! I’m too stoned and too scared. Just stay on the phone with me, please.
–Supermarket, Astoria
Conductor: Never fear! The phantom of the train is here!
–7 Train
Overheard by: Alex
The Von Trapp Children Are Just Annoying in Real Life
Loud girl: She’s leaving the train!
Loud friends #1, #2, #3 and #4: Yay!
Loud friend #1: She’s leaving the train!
Loud friend #2: She is! Yay!
Girl getting off train: I love you guys! I’m leaving!
All: Bye!
(train leaves platform)
All: She’s off the train! Yeah, she got off the train!
(they all start singing very loudly)
–1 Train
To Protect and… and.… Damn!
Meek tourist, after spending 10 minutes trying to hail a cab: Can you please help me hail a cab?
Disgruntled cop: Fuck you! Find your own damn cab! Christ!
–Times Square
