Archive for the ‘Punks’ Category

Not An­oth­er Teen Wednes­day One-Lin­er

Teen in side­ways cap: I touched it, but I did­n’t like it.

–Up­town A Train

Over­heard by: La­dle

Stu­dent: Dude, I think I’m dyslex­ic with stairs.

–Stuyvesant High School

Teen, se­ri­ous­ly: No… We­bkinz are def­i­nite­ly a lot more high-main­te­nance then neopets.

–Down­town 6 Train

Teenage boy: I want to be a Sen­a­tor or some­thing like that. Like, the Gov­ern­ment is the best place to have sex.

–Bard High School, Queens

Over­heard by: Sun­ny

Punk teen to friends: Even though it seemed like she was in­to things, now she’s not in­to any­thing.

–Union Square

Over­heard by: i don’t like stuff ei­ther

Hey, Mind If I Take Your Wal­let?

Ema­ci­at­ed goth/punk guy: Hey, do you know where a CVS is?
Passer­by suit: I don’t know what that is…
Passer­by prep­py girl: Are you look­ing for a CVS?
Ema­ci­at­ed goth/punk guy: Yes!
Prep­py girl: Well, there’s a Du­ane Reade right there, it’s like, the same thing.
Ema­ci­at­ed goth/punk guy, mat­ter-of-fact­ly: I know, it’s just im­pos­si­ble to steal from Du­ane Reade.
Prep­py girl: Oh.
Ema­ci­at­ed goth/punk guy: I’m re­al­ly poor.
Prep­py girl: Okay.
Ema­ci­at­ed goth/punk guy, cheer­ful: Thanks any­way!
Prep­py girl, al­so cheer­ful: You’re wel­come!

–Colum­bus Cir­cle

Over­heard by: Han­nah

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Flunk the Poly­graph

Woman on cell: I can’t come. I’m in the Poconos right now.

–Rite Aid, The Bronx

Punk girl on phone: Hi mom…yeah… Yeah, me and Jane are just walk­ing around in the neigh­bor­hood… Yeah, we’re at the Time Warn­er cen­ter right now. No! No, of course I’m not on St. Mark’s. No. I’d nev­er go there. Of course I’m sober! Why would­n’t I be? Yeah. Okay, love you, bye! (hangs up phone, now to friend with beer) Gimme some of that!

–St. Mark’s Place

Russ­ian guy on phone (in Russ­ian): Yeah, I’m on Av­enue M. I just got off, I’ll be there in a few.

–Q Train, Kings High­way

Over­heard by: Robert

Dude on cell: Yo! What’s up? I’m wait­ing at La­Guardia.

–Mar­tin Luther King High School

Over­heard by: Su­san Vol­chok

Guy on cell: Yeah, I’m on Long Is­land right now. I’ll be here for a lit­tle while.

–Park Slope

Fe­male suit on phone: I have to can­cel din­ner tonight, I had that meet­ing I told you about, re­mem­ber? And I’m still not back yet. Yeah. Yeah, I’m in Jer­sey still.

–Wash­ing­ton Square Park

Woman on cell out­side a pub: Hon­ey? It’s mom­my. We’re still at the hos­pi­tal. I don’t know, we could still be here for hours.

–1st & 72nd

Over­heard by: Well, there were hos­pi­tals near­by, at least

The As­to­ria Poster-Chil­dren Were Fired Short­ly There­after

Young punk #1: Where’s the fuck­ing n train? Can we get NRW in this shit… (pause) So my friend was all coked out and fuck­ing this girl in the ass, then he to­tal­ly lost it and start­ed piss­ing right in her ass­hole.
Young punk #2: Woah…did she no­tice?
Young punk #1: Of course she no­ticed, he was piss­ing in her fuck­ing ass­hole! (train ar­rives) Oh, sweet, it’s the n!
Young punk #2: Yes! As­to­ria rep­re­sent!

–Union Square, Wait­ing for the NRW

Wednes­day One-Megapix­e­lin­ers

Pushy black woman to em­ploy­ee stand­ing next to por­trait stu­dio sam­ples: The next time I come in here, I want to see my daugh­ter’s pic­ture up here, be­cause she is beau­ti­ful.

–K‑Mart, 34th St

Over­heard by: EthanK

Guy: There were some pic­tures tak­en, in­volv­ing, like, my pe­nis and Cale­b’s pe­nis and five oth­er guys.

–4th St & 2nd Ave

Girl: Food is over­rat­ed, let’s just take a pic­ture and leave.

–100th St & Broad­way

Hip­ster punk girl on phone: Hel­lo? (pause) No, but I know a girl if you’re look­ing. She al­so puts jel­ly on her toes. (pause) Who? I once sold a se­mi-nude pho­to of my­self at an art show once. I think Bren­dan has a copy of it… no one would ever pay to see my feet. But again, I ask, who were you talk­ing to? (pause) Dave was un­der the im­pres­sion that I sold pic­tures of my ex­trem­i­ties for mon­ey? That’s awe­some! I’m go­ing to send him a pic­ture of my el­bow!

–Union Square

Over­heard by: Ayen­bird

Guy: The more bod­ies, the more pic­tures. That’s what I al­ways say.

–14th St & 7th Ave