Archive for the ‘Queens’ Category

Is It Too Late to Apol­o­gize for Moon­ing You?

Black girl #1: Damn, girl! You’re hairy! I dun­no if it’s cause I’m light-skinned, you’re hairy!
Black girl #2: Thanks. Thanks… (walks away)
Black girl #1: You’re like a were­wolf!

–H&M Dress­ing Room, Queens Cen­ter Mall

Over­heard by: hop­ing shes not a were­wolf too…

The Wednes­day One-lin­ers NYC Tour Guide

Black woman: This here is Chelsea. It’s where all the rich ho­mo­sex­u­als live.

–18th Street be­tween 7th & 8th

Teenage kid: There are some hot Chi­nese bitch­es at this stop, son!

–Ful­ton Street G sta­tion

Over­heard by: Thomas Bugarin

Woman: Well, I’m in So­ho now…

–Union Square

Over­heard by: Davis Mc­Davis

Queer: Oh, I went to Queens once. By ac­ci­dent. I was com­ing back from La Guardia and the taxi dri­ver said he was tak­ing me on a short­cut.

–Starlight, Av­enue A

Over­heard by: Lukas

Thug: Next stop: Ghet­toville, USA! That’s re­al Amer­i­ca, none of this Japan­ese-Amer­i­can bull­shit. Mmmm…smell that? Smells like the East Vil­lage!

–A train

Guy: This is the new Wall Street Times build­ing.

–41st & 8th con­struc­tion site

Man: See, that’s the one. If I was gonna write it a let­ter, I would be­gin, “Dear Ugli­est Build­ing in New York City”.

–West­in Ho­tel, Times Square

Over­heard by: Kay­la Ca­gan

Guy on cell: Bond Street? It’s north of Hous­ton Street so it’s not in So­ho. But I don’t know what the neigh­bor­hood is called.

–City Hall Park

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Hang Weird Shit on Their Mir­rors

Cab dri­ver, get­ting cut off: Yeah, dri­ve like you want that cheese­burg­er!

–Colum­bus Cir­cle

Cab­bie: I got in some trou­ble and my wife threw all my clothes out of the house. I nev­er re­al­ized how many clothes I have! I know New York streets bet­ter than my own clos­et! (laughs)

–Cab, Broad­way & Hous­ton

Cab dri­ver to col­league who just honked af­ter he stopped for a pedes­tri­an: What, you want me to kill him?

–Bat­tery Park

Mid­dle East­ern cab dri­ver: I used to have a video store in Wash­ing­ton Heights. But the black bas­tard put me out of busi­ness! Can you be­lieve it? Af­ter ten years the black bas­tard put me out of busi­ness! Do you now the black bas­tard on Dy­ck­man? C’­mon! Every­body knows the back bas­tard! Black bas­tard! Black bas­tard video!

–Cab, Wash­ing­ton Heights

Over­heard by: Gene Gray

Cab dri­ver: When you dri­ve for ten hours a day, you learn that over 50% of dri­vers are, how do you say it…stupid.

–Queens

Over­heard by: Fi­as­co