Archive for the ‘Queens’ Category

Neg­a­tive Twen­ty ‘Hood Points Just for Know­ing the Word ‘Co­sine’

Ghet­to wannabe #1: Yo’ rhymes are so lame it’s like you took the co­sine.
Ghet­to wannabe #2: You so poor you go fishin’ for dimes.

–Wood­haven, Queens

Over­heard by: dren­dar

Head­line by: Against Marj

Run­ners-Up:

· “Bill and Hillary Pre­pare for Next Year’s Video Mu­sic Awards” — Dou­bleJ

· “Co­sine? Like from Nigganom­e­try?” — Big Lar­ry

· “E = MC Ham­mer Squared” — Christi­na

· “M.C. Tan­gent and D.J. Non-Se­quitur.” — Sand­manEsq

· “My rhymes are so hype I can di­vide by ze­ro, Burnin’ down the ghet­to like my name is Nero” — mk

· “Whitey got no al­go­rithm” — Char­lie

· “Why Pythagorus nev­er got sined.” — Julie Baber

· “Yo’ so dumb you on­ly know pi to 3.14159” — arielle


Click here to see the new Head­line Con­test

Fras­es De Mier­coles

Young guy on cell: You’re lucky I’m Colom­bian. If I was Ecuado­ri­an, I’d be slap­ping you!

–Jack­son Heights

Over­heard by: Jobee

An­gry man walk­ing alone, to him­self: I could have mar­ried a Do­mini­can, but no, I de­cid­ed not to!

–Mer­cer & Broome

Teen girl to friend: Your new Mex­i­can is su­per creepy.

–On Line for the Col­bert Re­port, Hel­l’s Kitchen

Guy on cell: No, no, man, she’s Puer­to Ri­can. I’m just sayin’ she’s Do­mini­can ’cause it sounds hot­ter.

–105 St & Lex­ing­ton

Thug hold­ing box of maxi pads: Yo, that moth­er­fuck­er is like the gay Mex­i­can Mar­lon Bran­do. Clas­sic…

–CVS

Over­heard by: Karen

I Know a Place Where They Fix That, Too

Eu­ro hip­ster #1: I got the soles of my shoes fixed.
Eu­ro hip­ster #2: Your what?
Eu­ro hip­ster #1 #1: You know, the soles of my shoes. The bot­toms.
Eu­ro hip­ster #2: I do not know this word.
Eu­ro hip­ster #1: You know, S‑O-U‑L.
Eu­ro hip­ster #2: Ah, like ass-soul?

–New York Sports Club, As­to­ria

Over­heard by: Lizzy Ve­gas

Not An­oth­er Teen Wednes­day One-Lin­er

Teen in side­ways cap: I touched it, but I did­n’t like it.

–Up­town A Train

Over­heard by: La­dle

Stu­dent: Dude, I think I’m dyslex­ic with stairs.

–Stuyvesant High School

Teen, se­ri­ous­ly: No… We­bkinz are def­i­nite­ly a lot more high-main­te­nance then neopets.

–Down­town 6 Train

Teenage boy: I want to be a Sen­a­tor or some­thing like that. Like, the Gov­ern­ment is the best place to have sex.

–Bard High School, Queens

Over­heard by: Sun­ny

Punk teen to friends: Even though it seemed like she was in­to things, now she’s not in­to any­thing.

–Union Square

Over­heard by: i don’t like stuff ei­ther

And the An­cient Greeks Owned Slaves!

Boy giv­ing pre­sen­ta­tion: Guys, shut up! Every­body has to be qui­et dur­ing my pre­sen­ta­tion.
Black boy: Man, your peo­ple kept my peo­ple down for hun­dreds of years. I ain’t be­ing qui­et for your pre­sen­ta­tion!
Boy giv­ing pre­sen­ta­tion: I’m not white, dude. I’m fuck­ing Greek.

–Bard High School, Queens

Over­heard by: Sun­ny