Archive for the ‘Queer guys’ Category

Since I’m Still On­ly Halfway Through Great Sex­pec­ta­tions

Hip­ster girl: You know, you re­al­ly should try read­ing some­thing with more sub­stance… Like War and Peace.
Queer, flip­ping through fash­ion mag: ‘Warm Piece’? Is that, like, porn?
Hip­ster girl: I said, War. And. Peace.
Queer: Okay, I’m not read­ing any mag­a­zine I’ve nev­er even heard of.

–F train

Over­heard by: Kathy Ian­doli

Or a Tran­quil­iz­er Gun

Guy on cell: Oh my god, can you see my corn­hole? Well, does it at least look good? I went with him to Two Boots. I feel like I’m com­plete­ly im­pact­ed. I might have to get three colonics.
Girl with him, af­ter he hangs up: Oh my god, I re­al­ly need a boyfriend.

–Sug­ar Sweet Sun­shine Bak­ery

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Go for the Jugu­lar

Slut­ty girl: Yeah, we were both drunk and he hit the wrong hole. I’ve been shit­ting blood for two days.

–Citi Field Sta­di­um

Gay guy: I mean… She made my dick bleed.

–St. Mark’s

Over­heard by: jax

Chick laugh­ing hys­ter­i­cal­ly on cell: I know! So much blood came out of his ears!

–Hunter Col­lege

Over­heard by: Fresh Man

Black man on phone: This car was ripped in half, they had to cut this dude out with the jaws of life, he come out bleed­ing from his eye sock­ets and shit. (pause) So you wan­na meet up lat­er?

–Willough­by & Van­der­bilt

I Thought Your Pump-up Jam Was “If I Could Turn Back Time”?

[“Um­brel­la” by ri­han­na is be­ing loud­ly played.]Stoned gay guy: Oh my god, I love this song. This is to­tal­ly what you hear be­fore you start shoot­ing kids in the projects.
Gay guy: Uh, ex­cuse me?
Stoned gay guy: Yeah. You know, it’s like your pump-up jam.

–E 10th St & 2nd Ave

Over­heard by: Dy­ing of laugh­ter