Archive for the ‘Queers’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Still Can’t Get Over Joey Pick­ing Pacey (That Dumb Bitch)

Girl on cell: We got Chi­nese ca­ble be­cause it was cheap­er than the cheap cable…Yeah, it’s all in Chinese…Whatever. As long as I watch things that I’ve al­ready seen, I don’t need to ac­tu­al­ly know what they’re say­ing.

–N train, As­to­ria

Queer, on cell: Have you seen Vic­to­ri­a’s boyfriend late­ly? He looks great. She’s bet­ter than Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.

–Eck­erd, As­to­ria

Moth­er, to kids: Sor­ry we just missed the fire­works, guys. It’s okay, though. I TiVoed it at home just in case.

–79th St en­trance, FDR

Tourist, af­ter ea­ger­ly strug­gling for cam­era air-time: You know what, Ma, I don’t think we’re gonna be able to watch this — it on­ly airs to­day.

–Tap­ing of the To­day Show, Rock­e­feller Cen­ter

Over­heard by: Stephen and Al­li­son

Girl: Well, to­day they had a woman who was born a man who mar­ried a man who was born a woman, so don’t shit on Mau­ry Povich!

–New York Pub­lic Li­brary

Over­heard by: Ac­tu­al­ly READ­ING at the Li­brary

Guy: Sweet Six­teen? That show makes me un­der­stand ter­ror­ism.

–114th & Broad­way

May/December Wednes­day One-lin­ers

Girl: Man, this old dyke is dig­ging on me, but I want some pe­nis
these days.

–3rd be­tween B & C

Guy: Man, old pussy is the best! She has 50 years of dick suck­ing ex­pe­ri­ence.

–124th & Man­hat­tan

Over­heard by: Ja­son Stein­hauer

Queer on cell: Ever since I lost my hair I’ve had 20 year olds chas­ing me around like I’m an ice cream cone.

–LIRR

Over­heard by: Squat­por­poise

Girl: Oh yeah, that guy you saw me with Sun­day? He lets me watch him have sex with boys.

–NYU School of so­cial work

Over­heard by: Mag­gie

News­Flash: Gay Man Shocked That Straight Peo­ple Have Anony­mous Sex!

Col­lege girl: I think I’m go­ing to have sex with him.
Queer: Re­al­ly? Why?
Col­lege girl: Be­cause I’m 20.
Queer: What’s his name?
Col­lege girl: Um­mm…
Queer: Nice, re­al nice. You’re a class act.
Col­lege girl: I still have at least three years be­fore I have to wor­ry about be­ing classy.

–X10 ex­press bus