Archive for the ‘Questions’ Category

Way to Raise Your Kid to Be a To­tal Drag.

Lit­tle boy, watch­ing teen girl smok­ing: Why are peo­ple al­ways smok­ing cig­a­rettes?
Dad: Be­cause they are ad­dic­tive. That is why dad­dy quit. Do you want to tell the nice girl what will hap­pen to her if she does­n’t quit?
Lit­tle boy: Well, first you’ll get re­al­ly sick. And then you’ll die. (pause) And then you’ll be dead!

–15th St & 7th Ave

Over­heard by: No­ra Claire

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Are An­oth­er Year Old­er but None the Wis­er

20-some­thing: I did­n’t even re­al­ize it was my birth­day un­til I checked Face­book!

–Up­per West Side

Over­heard by: mtraine­ti­quette

Girl to friend: We should cel­e­brate tonight–it’s my half birth­day in 10 days.

–Croc­o­dile Lounge, E 14th St

Tourist: See no­body is wear­ing birth­day scars…

–34th St & 5th Ave

Guy to girl: Wait, did you re­al­ly be­lieve I was go­ing to get you a Hel­lo Kit­ty vi­bra­tor for your birth­day?

–45th & 8th

Drunk girl to hobo: It’s my birth­day! You should be giv­ing *me* mon­ey!

–111 & Broad­way