Older Jewish woman: And where are you from?
30-something woman: Arkansas.
Older Jewish woman: And are you Jewish?
30-something woman: No.
Older Jewish woman: You just confirmed my stereotype.
30-something woman: And you just confirmed mine.
–Temple Shaaray Tefila
Chick #1: I don't get it. I mean, why would you go to Cambridge to study science? Why not go to Oxford?
Chick #2: Either way, it's England, so it's mad awesome.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Jedusor
Conductor, over speaker: Grand Avenue-Newtown will be next, stand clear of the closing doors…
Lady on train: Wait, what'd he say?
Conductor, over speaker: Wait, what'd he say?
–R Train
Overheard by: Kevin
Teen girl on cell: So, where are you? So, what happened? Not to your shoe! In the hospital?!
–Central Park
Overheard by: concerned trespasser
American guy: All the buildings in New York City are made with brick. No steel. So if there's an earthquake, we're all dead.
Foreign guy: No steel?
American guy: No steel. All brick. If there's an earthquake, we're all dead.
(foreign guy giggles hysterically)
–111th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
Man #1, trying to make the elevator door before it closes: Don’t you guys believe in second chances?
Man #2: Did you have beans for lunch?
–188 Montague, Brooklyn Heights
Professor: Wisdom goes: if you are looking to get married, and you can either choose a nine who is broke or a seven with a lot of money, you choose the…?
Students, without missing a beat: Seven!
–Hunter College
Hipster to 50-something tourist who is blocking the way: Hey, lady, where you from?
Woman, proudly: Kansas.
Hipster: Well, Dorothy, this is not Kansas. This is Times Square, New York City, now get the fuck out of the way! (crowd cheers)
–Times Square
Overheard by: G-man
Announcer dude: People, get the Audio Guide! If you don’t you’ll end up up there thinking, ‘I should have listened to that handsome, well-spoken man downstairs.’ You’ll be beating yourself for not buying the Audio Guide. And I don’t need that on my conscience.
–Empire State Building
Overheard by: George Carstocea
Daily News hawker: Sign up here for your free subscription to the Daily News! [Muttering] We’ll screw you later.
–Outside Shea Stadium
Overheard by: Mrs. Met
Guy selling comedy show tickets: Come on, have a ticket. If you don’t I’ll stalk you on your MySpace page!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Punkgrrl
Top of the Rock promoter guy: Yeah, it’s supposed to be, like, the best view or whatever of, uh, I don’t know… [Calls to fellow promoter] Yo, man, you ever been up there?
–Rockefeller Center
Flyer dude: See the naked cowboy on stage! Sucking cock!
–46th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ashley
Guy selling newspapers: New York Post here! Daily News here! [He’s ignored.] New York Post here! Daily News! [Still ignored.] George Bush wins the lottery! [Still ignored.]
–33rd & 7th
Comedy club promoter: People, you gotta come tonight, because if you don’t my boss is gonna kill me! I work for the mafia!
–Times Square
20-something woman #1: Why don’t boys like me? Because of my snaggle-tooth?
20-something woman #2: No. Because you’re obsessed with The Snorks.
–Relish, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Justin Casement