Archive for the ‘Questions’ Category

And the Gyp­sies Just Aren’t Nab­bing Them Like They Used to

Flus­tered woman, about her brood: Have we lost any­one yet?
Hus­band: Um­mm… No.
Flus­tered woman: Well, who are we go­ing to lose first? Be­cause we haven’t lost any­one yet.

–Times Square

Over­heard by: Josh

Head­line by: Aeirlys

Run­ners-Up:
· “Be­cause Abor­tion THIS Late in the Term Is Just Tacky” — Hillary Claire
· “Ho­bos Aren’t Born. They’re Made.” — Kriszti­na
· “It Looked So Much Eas­i­er in Home Alone” — You Don’t Want To Know
· “Things Were Shaky Un­til Fraulein Maria Came Along” — al­li­son
· “Two Roads Di­verged in the Woods — I Chose the One My Chil­dren Could­n’t Trav­el” — Drewp

Click here to see the new Head­line Con­test

Make Womb for Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Suit on phone: I don’t think she knows. (pause) But it’s just a night job! (pause) No, there’s no way I’m preg­nant. (pause) Why not?! Be­cause I’m a man, god­dammit!

–Star­bucks

Woman on cell: So re­mem­ber that time I thought I had that mis­car­riage?

–Grand Con­course & Ford­ham Road

Over­heard by: Er­i­ca S

Slight­ly over­weight girl: Thank you for the of­fer, sweet­ie, but I’m not preg­nant. I’m just fat!

–M100 Bus

Over­heard by: Tina­thetiny

Tall girl on cell: No way! I thought *you* were go­ing to im­preg­nate *me*. I wan­na have *your* chil­dren.

–Prince & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Ken Pa­proc­ki