Girl: If you were an animal, what would you be?
Boy: Fabulous?
–Balducci’s
Overheard by: That’s not an animal
Archive for the ‘Questions’ Category
What the Inventors of Nickelodeon Gak Were Going For
Girl #1: Is that cum?
Girl #2: Yes, green cum.
–W 47th & 5th
Overheard by: Holly
Meta-Arguing Doesn’t Count
Woman #1: No! I’m not going to tell you. You’ll just want to argue about it.
Woman #2: What?! I won’t argue, just tell me!
Woman #1: Definitely not telling you!
Woman #2: Why not?!
Woman #1: You always want to argue!
Woman #2: I won’t argue!
(woman #1 laughs out loud)
–10th St & Ave B
Overheard by: ears wide open
This Is the Mother Ship
Girl to friend: How come this Saks store doesn’t say “Saks Fifth Avenue” like the rest?
Friend: Dude, cause we’re on Fifth Avenue!
–5th Ave
So There’s no Way to Be Sure
Hipster #1: What’s up with her? Is she a Lesbian?
Hipster #2: Well, she is Canadian.
–The Mountain Goats Show, Europa, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Becca
One Guess, Brainiac 5
Guy #1: Sam better on his way to this meeting too.
Guy #2: Let me call the office and check if he’s left yet…Sam, what’s up, man? Where are you?
–E train
Do You Want to Hear About the Ass Sex, or Not?
Woman: I think she’s Russian. No wait, I think she is from Tennessee, yeah she’s like this poor girl from Tennessee. So anyways, she goes to the Hamptons… Wait now I remember, she is from Utah; she’s Mormon. That’s it. So she goes to the Hamptons and meets this guy…
Man: Wait a minute, what’s a Russian Mormon doing in the Hamptons?
Woman, annoyed: [groan]
–Whole Foods Columbus Circle
To Be Fair, It Arrives So Infrequently That Even We Forget.
Subway announcement: The next l train is now arriving on the Manhattan bound track.
Midwest tweaker, to no one in particular: Boo-yah! Buh-buh-buh boo-yah! (blows snot rocket onto subway tracks) The l train? What the fuck is that?
–Bedford L Train
Overheard by: Ben Graney
Your Engagement to My Sister Is Off, But We’re Still Friends
White hipster #1: Yeah, I just moved into a place in Bushwick. I’m the only black guy for, like, five miles.
Other white hipsters stare at him.
White hipster #1: What?
–Yale Club, Vanderbilt Ave
Why Generic Names Are Bad: An OINY Short Story.
Female security guard: That was Jim Jones.
Male security guard: Jim Jones?
Female security guard: Jim Jones, he sings “Pop Champagne.“
Male security guard: Jim Jones? That’s that cult guy, down in uh… Guyana.
–MTV Lobby
