Archive for the ‘Questions’ Category

A Smor­gash­board Of Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Woman to man: I know! I don’t fry any­thing. I don’t even fry my food any­more.

–47th & 6th

Over­heard by: A very dis­turbed News­bun­ny

Old Jew­ish woman to hus­band hold­ing restau­rant left­overs: It’s a sin to waste that food. You could send it to Is­rael!

–Up­per West Side

Over­heard by: What a waste!

Prep­py guy: At least *I’m* not the one mo­lest­ing fic­tion­al ce­re­al pitch­men.

–Park Slope, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: La­dle

Girl on cell, talk­ing loud­ly: I don’t know what I want, but what­ev­er I want, I want French fries with it.

–John St

Prep­py girl on cell: Do they study eggs? (pause) Eggs! (pause) Do they study eggs?

–Times Square

Fe­male new stu­dent to boyfriend: You have to stop with this whole bur­ri­to-is-a-dick thing.

–6th Ave & 13th St

Over­heard by: Catie

Ten Bucks Says He Asks Her Out Be­fore They Get to Their Floor

Ug­ly guy: Yeah, we broke up be­cause it just did­n’t work out be­tween us. We had too many dif­fer­ences.
Pret­ty girl: I’m sor­ry to hear that. How long has it been?
Ug­ly guy: Years, so I’m over it. Well, we were swingers so it got com­pli­cat­ed. Well, — I was a swinger. She was­n’t.
Pret­ty girl: Um­mm… (stares at wall) Great el­e­va­tor con­ver­sa­tion!

–El­e­va­tor, Vi­a­com Build­ing, 44th & Broad­way

Which Is My De­fault An­swer for All Is­sues In­volv­ing Men

50-some­thing woman to cowork­er at Burg­er King: And he said, “Why you al­ways com­ing in here, dressed up like you’re at the beach? What is that?” And I was like, “Yeah, please, put me on a re­al beach, in like Do­mini­can Re­pub­lic or some­thing.“
Cowork­er: He prob­a­bly just want­ed to see you in your biki­ni.

–La­Guardia Air­port

Over­heard by: … But I know I would­n’t