Old man: I’m picking up a big-legged woman in Stamford.
Conductor: Oh, that’s good.
Old man: Yeah, she’s 300 pounds.
Conductor: Okay.
Old man: Yes. A very large woman is waiting for me in Stamford.
Conductor: Sounds like you’re excited.
Old man: Yeah, and she has a rack, too!
–Metro-North Rail
Overheard by: Reilly
Girl #1: I will not touch your chest on a crowded subway.
Girl #2: Some other place, then.
–4 Train
Loud chick #1: So, they instituted a dress code for the entire office because, like, one woman walks around with these low-cut blouses with her girls out.
Loud chick #2: Are yours girls? Mine are boys. One’s named Lou* and the other’s named Stan*.
–A train
Overheard by: aja
Queer: Hey! Nice tits!
Morbidly obese fag hag: Hey, thanks!
–Metropolitan & Humboldt
Overheard by: dani d
Indian girl to boyfriend: Can you believe she did that? I was just like “what the fuck?“
Boyfriend, obviously not paying attention: Mhhmm. You’re right.
Indian girl, angrily: Stop thinking about my mother’s breasts!
–Kimmel Student Centre, NYU
Overheard by: I know I would
Drunk Guy: That girl’s tits are huge! And it’s snowing!
–Fordham
A man on a tandem bicycle turns to the woman on it and says: You know, it’s remarkable just how much like weddings funerals actually are.
–Varick Street
Overheard by: Sparkle Shortz
Old lady #1: Well, then my grandson and his friends went over to Hooters. You know, Hooters the restaurant? Do you know what hooters are?
Old lady #2: Big boobies?
–Guy & Gallard Deli, 6th & 37th
Overheard by: Michelle S.
Aging rocker: I love you, baby face.
Drunk wife, endearingly: Fuck my tits.
–R Train
Overheard by: erak
Screaming deranged lesbian to gay leathermen: Who’s the titty toucher?
(bewildered looks all around, then a gay leatherman sheepishly raises hand)
Screaming deranged lesbian: Here’s a 10% coupon! Thanks for the titty grope!
–The Leatherman Store
Guy #1: I typed “gentrification” on Google Images and I got titties.
Guy #2: Man, you can type in anything and get titties.
–Bushwick
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
