Girl #1: I want to get pregnant in March. Let’s get pregnant in march.
Girl #2: Wait, where are we now?
Girl #1: My uterus is ready.
Girl #2: I had a full checkup, and my uteri are great.
Girl #1: Oh my god, you have two uteruses? You are awesome! You have utters. You have yoo-utters!
Girl #2: Yeah, I have three breasts.
–Cafe near Columbia
Overheard by: DL
Teen girl #1, pointing to mannequin: Look! Those are the boobs we were talking about!
Teen girl #2: I know, those boobs are so obnoxious!
–89th St & Broadway
Girl #1: Wait, how many boobs are usually on three girls?
Girl #2: Six.
–Bleecker St
Overheard by: anna
Girl: I love watching people on subways.
Guy: I know, right? I like making short poems ’bout them, too. (points discretely at JAP across subway car) “Slutty white girl looks around train. Adjusts boobs. Looks around again.”
–1 Train
Eastern European girl: Jimmy* is a dirty boy.
Asian girl: Really? Why is Jimmy a dirty boy?
Eastern European girl: He said dirty things to me online.
Asian girl: He said dirty things to you online? Like what?
Eastern European girl: I don’t want to talk about it right now.
Asian girl: Does he make you uncomfortable?
Eastern European girl: Yeah, sometimes he does — like, when he tells me to send him pictures of myself with my shirt off.
Asian girl: Does it make you scared?
Eastern European girl: No, I just don’t have any pictures of myself with my shirt off.
Asian girl: Then why don’t you take some?
Eastern European girl: I don’t know.
Asian girl: You know what? I’ll help you. I’ll go to your house right now and take some pictures of you with your shirt off, and then you can send them to Jimmy, okay?
Eastern European girl: Okay.
–Downtown 6 train
Old man: I’m picking up a big-legged woman in Stamford.
Conductor: Oh, that’s good.
Old man: Yeah, she’s 300 pounds.
Conductor: Okay.
Old man: Yes. A very large woman is waiting for me in Stamford.
Conductor: Sounds like you’re excited.
Old man: Yeah, and she has a rack, too!
–Metro-North Rail
Overheard by: Reilly
Girl #1: I will not touch your chest on a crowded subway.
Girl #2: Some other place, then.
–4 Train
Loud chick #1: So, they instituted a dress code for the entire office because, like, one woman walks around with these low-cut blouses with her girls out.
Loud chick #2: Are yours girls? Mine are boys. One’s named Lou* and the other’s named Stan*.
–A train
Overheard by: aja
Queer: Hey! Nice tits!
Morbidly obese fag hag: Hey, thanks!
–Metropolitan & Humboldt
Overheard by: dani d
Indian girl to boyfriend: Can you believe she did that? I was just like “what the fuck?“
Boyfriend, obviously not paying attention: Mhhmm. You’re right.
Indian girl, angrily: Stop thinking about my mother’s breasts!
–Kimmel Student Centre, NYU
Overheard by: I know I would
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
