Archive for the ‘Rack’ Category

I’m Glad We Had This Lit­tle Talk

12-year-old girl #1: Do you even like boys?
12-year-old girl #2: Yeah, I do!
12-year-old girl #1: Sure… You like them boys who be wearin’ all light col­ors, walkin’ around like, ‘How you doooin’? I’­ma braid your hair!‘
12-year-old girl #2: What? No. I like boys, I don’t like tit­ties.
12-year-old girl #1, af­ter a pause: Some boys be havin’ tit­ties, though.
12-year-old girl #2: Word.

–Gra­ham & Met­ro­pol­i­tan, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: amused in the bus stop

We Can Spot Fake Wednes­day One-Lin­ers a Mile Away

Ex­as­per­at­ed woman on phone: It’s a phone in­ter­view! What does it mat­ter what type of boobs I have?

–Of­fice Build­ing, 32nd & 7th

Over­heard by: erkala

Girl, af­ter guy ac­ci­den­tal­ly hit her boob: Ow! You should be squeez­ing them, not hit­ting them!

–Toys R’ Us, Times Square

Over­heard by: Lotte

Up­per West Side girl to friend: I hate that my boobs are so big! It com­plete­ly ru­ins that skirt for me.

–Canal Street

Hobo: But I don’t want to love my breasts!

–Ave B

Man on cell: So you’re com­ing to New York? That’s good. I called your moth­er, she said you’re stay­ing with some girl with big tits tonight.

–West 4th Street

Guy to an­oth­er, while at lunch: I don’t care if you think I live too fast and I’ll be dead at 45. At least I’ll die with a tit­tie in my mouth!

–Bryant Park

Over­heard by: sal b

Hey, Wednes­day, Your One-Lin­er Is Show­ing!

Mid­dle-aged woman, an­gri­ly on cell: You tell him to go out­side right now, and take his clothes off!

–32nd St & Park Ave

Over­heard by: djlori

Girl to friend: All of a sud­den there’s a naked man! Like, this does­n’t trans­late well vi­su­al­ly.

–Up­town 1 Train

Suit on cell: How about I send you two naked kids to have a good time? Fair enough?

–60th St & Colum­bus Ave

Over­heard by: Stacey V

Girl on phone: Top­less an­ar­chy is still an­ar­chy, man.

–5 Train

Short dude to friend: I woke up naked and wrapped in cellophane–again!

–Co­lum­bia Uni­ver­si­ty

Then By the Pow­er Vest­ed in Me, I Now Pro­nounce Us Hus­band and Wife

Flir­ta­tious girl, about pho­to in fash­ion mag­a­zine: Do you think she’s hot?
Em­bar­rassed boy: She’s quite at­trac­tive.
Flir­ta­tious girl: Do you like her tits?
Em­bar­rassed boy: Turn the page, please.
Flir­ta­tious girl: Would you bang her?
Em­bar­rassed boy: I would.

–Lin­coln Cen­ter

Over­heard by: Sun­ny

Bar­bara Bush Is So Fuck­ing Self-right­eous

Lit­tle girl see­ing naked cow­girl: Mom­my, how come I can see that la­dy’s boo­bies?
Mom­my: Well, she’s let­ting every­body know it’s okay to breast feed.

–46th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: Chad­wick Vo­gel

Head­line by: mbob­bin­son

Run­ners-Up:
· “…for Tips” — Melis­sa
· “And Why Did Dad­dy Just Walk In­to a Pole?” — TJ
· “Her Thong Lets Every­one Know Tips Are Ap­pre­ci­at­ed” — Dan­gel­lo
· “How Come I Can See Her Vagi­na?” — Pe­ter Mad­sen
· “Lat­er, She’ll Ride the Me­chan­i­cal Bull and Serve Us Milk­shakes” — Dawn Eliz­a­beth

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