Archive for the ‘Rack’ Category

Barbara Bush Is So Fucking Self-righteous

Little girl seeing naked cowgirl: Mommy, how come I can see that lady’s boobies?
Mommy: Well, she’s letting everybody know it’s okay to breast feed.

–46th & Broadway

Overheard by: Chadwick Vogel

Headline by: mbobbinson

Runners-Up:
· “…for Tips” – Melissa
· “And Why Did Daddy Just Walk Into a Pole?” – TJ
· “Her Thong Lets Everyone Know Tips Are Appreciated” – Dangello
· “How Come I Can See Her Vagina?” – Peter Madsen
· “Later, She’ll Ride the Mechanical Bull and Serve Us Milkshakes” – Dawn Elizabeth

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Wednesday’s Gonna Have a Little One-Liner

Angry frat boy: Oh, so now I’m the bad guy? Let’s talk about you and your irrational pregnancy!

–Grand Central

Tween to friends: So, do you think I should get an abortion? I mean, I’m not even pregnant!

–TGI Fridays

Overheard by: Sara

Giggling chick: When you get pregnant, the only things that swell are your breasts!

–8th & Broadway

Overheard by: Hannah

Female security guard to friend: I don’t think I’m pregnant. There’s no way I can be pregnant, because I was only having light sex.

–Duane Reade, 23rd & 6th

Overheard by: jmike

Happy lady on cell: Guess what?! I’m pregnant! Yes, with a baby this time!

–96th St station

Overheard by: Kind of Confused

20-something chick: If I get pregnant, I am so suing Fresh Direct.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Wednesday One-Liners Suit Up

Suit on cell: I expected pus, but it’s got little black specks in it.

–Pelham Bay Park, the Bronx

Overheard by: HelenA.Handbasket

Suit: When I said “fairy tale” I meant like Mother Goose–not Miss Dirty Martini!

–F train

Overheard by: braincurve

Suit #1 to suit #2: Oh sure, I’ve got a source. I can get you a kidney, no problem.

–Madison Square Park

Female suit on cell: I don’t think you’re hearing what I’m saying. I think you’re in a very nagging place right now.

–Duane & Broadway

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

Middle-Aged suit: Boobies boobies boobies. Boobies boobies boobies…

–41st & 8th

Suit on cell: So there’s gonna be total chaos on September 14th, but that’s all we have planned so far.

–Church St

Overheard by: Dara

Suit: My goal in life is to one day sue someone.

–A train

Overheard by: LSB

Wednesday One-Liners Scream ‘Gender Surprise!’

Girl to friend: … And it was like, ‘Bam! I have a penis, too, man.’

–W 4th & 6th

Crazy guy: The revolution is in my pussy! The revolution is in my vagina!

–Washington Square Park

Prep school gangsta leaving train: Yo, man, grab his tits! Yeah!

–C train

Overheard by: Annearchist

Guy yelling into cell: I’m an intelligent woman! So I think…

–59th St, Columbus Circle

NYU chick: If I was a hermaphrodite, then I would totally understand what they were talking about.

–Shade, W 3rd & Sullivan

Wednesday Undie-Liners

College girl on cell: So as of last weekend I've pledged to be celibate for a year…although on second thought, it should really start today. I got pretty trashed last night and this morning I couldn't find the underwear I was wearing yesterday.

–Church St

Overheard by: Emma

20-something woman: Did you enjoy the bra fitting? Old lady grab your bits?

–Outside Town Shop

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Elderly woman examining bras: What's with all this padding? I got my own damn titties!

–H&M, 5th Ave

Overheard by: titti-less

Eight-year-old in a suit jacket on cell, strutting around the store: Did you see any hot, sexy girls? Yeah, but were they hot and sexy? Where are you, man? Are you still in the underwear aisle? Yeah, but are you still by the panties? (louder) The panties!

–Barnes & Noble, Tribeca

Overheard by: emdeebee

Trashy girl walking funny: Well, I guess I should have worn underwear.

–Arthur Ave

Wednesday Funbag-Liners

Teenage girl: Ohmigod. Doesn't she know that the "having big boobs" thing is, like, not in anymore?

–86th St

Overheard by: Kevin

Girl to another: It splashed on my boob… Then he slurped it off!

–Charles & 4th

Overheard by: Eric

20-something guy, singing: I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna touch some boobs. I wanna find my motherfucking sock, 'cause I don't know where it is. I wanna touch some boobs…

–Pratt Institute

Angry hobo to college chick with big boobs zipping up her jacket: Don't put them titties away!

–5th & 21st

Elderly woman to husband: I keep my business in my bosom!

–Carnegie Deli

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