Archive for the ‘Real Estate’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Hal­lah Back

Chick com­plain­ing about look­ing for room­mates: The prob­lem with to­day is that every­body’s Jew­ish.

–Dob­bin & Nor­man

Over­heard by: Sam Tresler

Young qua­si-gang­ster to friends: Even if you’re not Jew­ish, you’re, like… Jew­ish.

–Post-Yan­kees game on B train

Over­heard by: In­di­ana

Tourist chick: How, how, how can there be no Jew­ish deli? All I want is a tongue sand­wich and a fuck­ing piece of piz­za!

–Grand Cen­tral Sta­tion

Over­heard by: X‑tal

La­dy suit: Are you say­ing you’d rather be with a Jew­ish per­son than a wife-beat­er?

–18th & 6th

Over­heard by: emi­ly

JAP: Shik­sas are to­tal­ly not al­lowed on Jdate!

–71st & Colum­bus

Over­heard by: Deb­Dan

Chick in stall to friend: It must be a Jew­ish thing, but when­ev­er there’s food around I have to eat it — even if I’m not hun­gry.

–Re­stroom, Loews Cin­e­ma, 11th & 3rd Ave

Over­heard by: Em

Queer: No, like, of course you’re not Jew­ish. I just want­ed to check be­fore I dissed the Jews.

–113th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: hilla

Own­er: Ac­tu­al­ly, I Like a Gen­tle Up-and-Down Mo­tion — The Rough­ened Tongue Will Be Ide­al

Bro­ker: This is not a pet-friend­ly prop­er­ty.
Girl: Does it mat­ter if my cat is toi­let-trained?
Bro­ker: I don’t un­der­stand.
Girl: My cat does­n’t have a lit­ter box. It us­es the toi­let. Does that help?
Bro­ker: I am not sure if that makes a dif­fer­ence. How did you do it?
Girl: I used a train­ing kit. CitiKit­ty.
Bro­ker: It might im­press the own­er, but I am not sure it makes a dif­fer­ence. Does your cat flush?
Girl: It will if that helps me get the apart­ment.

–82nd & Colum­bus

It In­volves Dou­ble In­dem­ni­ty

Bik­er dude #1: I’m stay­ing at that ho­tel, down by…93rd and 3rd.
Bik­er dude #2: Oh yeah?
Bik­er dude #1: Yeah, that’s where I tried to com­mit sui­cide.
Bik­er dude #2: What do you pay a week down there?
Bik­er dude #1: I got a good deal go­ing with the guy down there.

–6th Ave & 14th St, Gowanus, Brook­lyn