Girl to guy: I don't think that hamsters respond to you as much as, like, a guinea pig does. –Bank St. & Greenwich St. Overheard by: Katie Compa Crazy redneck-looking guy to PETA circus protester: They're gonna do to us what they did to the lions! We'll be put in concentration camps! –Madison Square Garden Overheard by: Santiago and Catie Guy: And she can ride him like a horse! –W 103rd St Graying Brooklyn guy to another: You know, the only thing I haven't seen is a bobcat. –7th Ave & 4th St, Brooklyn Underclassman to another: Lizards can't impregnate anyone. They don't even have penises. –Townsend Harris High School Overheard by: amused Drunk man in tiger costume to McDonald's worker: There's an escaped zoo animal and he wants to eat your pussy. Stop serving your food and hide! (then steals bowl of jams used for breakfast menu) –McDonald's
Texan Guy #1: Wow, I haven’t owned an overcoat in years!
Texan Guy #2: In Texas if you wear one they’ll shoot you! It means you’re a bank robber. –Madison Ave & 43rd
Texan dude: Have you ever noticed how everyone on this train is small?
Female companion: Hunh.
Texan dude: Maybe it’s ’cause they come from third world countries. Malnourished and stuff. –L train, Grand Overheard by: Joe Roumeliotis
Hick tourist #1: Why don’t we get off at the next stop… Bow Ray? Bow Ray?
Hick tourist #2: Bowery. –Brooklyn-bound J train, approaching Canal St Overheard by: there’s no e in tracy Headline by: Jatmos Runners-Up: · “1 child left behind” – Reekuhhhh! · “And ‘SoHo’ Has a Whole Other Meaning Once You’ve Crossed the Mason-Dixon” – julietaroja · “From the people who brought you nuc-u-lar” – Krisztina · “Hicked on Phonics did not work at all” – Darvio Harvo · “If at first you don’t succeed, try the exact same thing again” – Nathan Logan · “It’s never too early for a Steve Irwin joke.” – hauptman · “Same situation, but the passerby would call them “Cletus”” – Julie · “They should probably take off those white hoods before stepping foot in the poetry club.” – erak · “Tomato, tomater” – Lennyb · “That sounds kinda gay, Cletus.” – Rich Anderson · “Why didn’t we let them secede again?” – Nathaniel
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Redneck couple #1, looking at clocks: Look, honey, Chicago's an hour behind us. Why's that?
Redneck couple #2: That's because they don't celebrate daylight savings time. –Times Square
Alabaman, about MLK Day: Yeah, well, down in Alabama we don’t celebrate his birthday, but the day he was shot.
College kid: Uh… –49th & 3rd
Bodega guy: What do you want?
Redneck: Camel Lights. Hard pack.
Bodega guy: $6.95.
Redneck: What? You fuckin’ kiddin’ me? That’s higher than a giraffe’s pussy! –106th & Columbus Overheard by: Marc
Little kid, holding out french fry: Patata!
Hick woman: Patoota? What's that?
Hick man: Little kids' word. –Belgian Beer Bar, 75th & 2nd Overheard by: Even my Spanish isn't that bad
Southern girl: I got guys asking me to send them pictures of my cooter. It’s like guys know when you’re taken; they flock to you like bees to moldy bread. –3 train
Virgina redneck: I love the Chinese, very nice people! You guys from Chinatown?
Chinese woman: No, we're from Brooklyn. –R Train