Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

Then It Changed to Crocs, and We All Cried.

Girl #1: When Annie is in a relationship, she's really serious. But when she was single she went through what we like to call the “sit on your face” phase.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: She'd go up to a guy in the bar we were in and say, “man, you look so good tonight. I might just sit on your face later.”
(girl #2 laughs)
Girl #1: Yeah… “sit on your face” was the new black for a while.

–Pig 'n' Whistle Bar

Overheard by: Ellen

Wednesday One-liners: The Next Generation

Thug: I need a girl who’s responsible and don’t got no kids.

–40th & 5th

Dude: Are we talking about the truth now? The truth is that you’re scared that she’s going to take your son away from you!

–27th Street office

Black guy on cell: Yeah, it was actually all right. We were both circumcised.

–Union Square greenmarket

Overheard by: Lisa Ramaci

Unless I Could Interest You in Some Rebound Sex?

20-something girl (following older man and sniffing him): Mmmmmmm.
Older man (letting her pass): Excuse me?
Girl: Sorry about that. You smell like my boyfriend. And he dumped me two days ago. (eyes well up)
Older man: Well, you're making me nervous. Keep on walking, honey.

–4 Train

Overheard by: alex

Wednesday One-Liners Remember elimiDATE Fondly

Man on cell: Yeah man, she is so not anyone that I would be willing to invest years in… I mean I don't want to have to spend my time actually working on it. I figured, hell, I kind of want to wake up next to someone a couple of days a week, so I might as well hang on through the summer. No, she has no idea…

–Columbus & 62nd St

Grad student: They have this symbiotic relationship in which he does all the eating and she does all the drinking.

–Columbia University

Woman to herself: God, I asked you for a good man; not a fucking joke!

–Spring & Hudson

Overheard by: Oscar Gamble

Firefighter to others: It's not that I have anything against commitment; I just like diversity.

–125th St Fairway

Overheard by: Just Shoppint

Man in shorts to another: I wouldn't date a girl with double vision, period.

–Williamsburg

Overheard by: Dr No-Eyes

Businesswoman to hobo: If you get back in the dating scene, I'll kill you.

–Houston & Lafayette

Overheard by: Homeless guy must be hung