Archive for the ‘Relationships’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Have a History of Violence

Guy, to girl: If I wanted to be angry, I would have punched you in the face a long time ago. –34th & 7th Woman on cell: Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face. –33rd St & 31st Ave, Astoria Overheard by: Wade Woman: It’s not like someone put a gun to your head and told you to fuck her! –Penn Station Overheard by: Cha Guy on cell: Yes, I’m interested in your sparring class…No, you see I want to hit somebody. –Bryant Park Overheard by: Braincurve Thug, to his girlfriend: Yo, I don’t care if you a girl or not. I will bust you in the head with a rock. –Central Park

Wednesday One-Liners Suit Up

Suit on cell: I expected pus, but it’s got little black specks in it. –Pelham Bay Park, the Bronx Overheard by: HelenA.Handbasket Suit: When I said “fairy tale” I meant like Mother Goose–not Miss Dirty Martini! –F train Overheard by: braincurve Suit #1 to suit #2: Oh sure, I’ve got a source. I can get you a kidney, no problem. –Madison Square Park Female suit on cell: I don’t think you’re hearing what I’m saying. I think you’re in a very nagging place right now. –Duane & Broadway Overheard by: Rich Mintz Middle-Aged suit: Boobies boobies boobies. Boobies boobies boobies… –41st & 8th Suit on cell: So there’s gonna be total chaos on September 14th, but that’s all we have planned so far. –Church St Overheard by: Dara Suit: My goal in life is to one day sue someone. –A train Overheard by: LSB

This Time We’ll Watch Softball and Drink Beer

Girl #1: Oh my gosh, this is so cool.
Girl #2: I know. [Smiles.]
Girl #1: Thanks for bringing me here, I love you. I am so glad I became a lesbian, if I wasn’t I wouldn’t have met you!
Girl #2: Aww, thanks. Do you want to go to my apartment now?
Girl #1: Yes! Let’s go. Are we going to have fun like we did last night?
Girl #2: Even more, baby. –M&M Store, Times Square

Wednesday One-Liners Never Said They Were Exclusive

Woman on cell: Well, her profile says ‘In a relationship,’ so she has no excuse to be fucking everyone else’s boyfriends! –The Bagel House, 39th St & Ditmars Blvd, Astoria Overheard by: Louie Guy: Hey, I’ll give you my ex-girlfriend if you’ll take her. –1st St & Ave A Overheard by: apples Fag hag: Anderson Cooper is so gorgeous. I want to be his boyfriend. –1 train Overheard by: Allisa Ghetto babe: She kicked the shit out of three or four boyfriends. She’s not gettin’ another. What’s she gonna do? Call him up, kick the shit out of him, get herself locked up again? –Penn Station Girl on cell: I might break up with my boyfriend because he wants to get a monkey. –59th & Lex Overheard by: Matt Bimbette: Do you think the reason I can’t get a boyfriend is because I never re-post those things on MySpace?! –LaGuardia airport Little girl: I don’t have a boyfriend right now. Sometimes it’s better not to be in a relationship. –72nd St & York