Archive for the ‘Retail Therapy’ Category

Wednes­day One-lin­ers Lunch Hour

That’s Not Re­al­ly By Choice, Fat­tie

Girl #1: Oh, look! Those clothes are cute. Let’s go look over there.
Girl #2: Those are ma­ter­ni­ty clothes.
Girl #1: Oh my God, no way!
Girl #2: Yes, see? It says “A Pea in the Pod Ma­ter­ni­ty Clothes”.
Girl #1: Oh wow, I had no idea!
Girl #2: Yeah, they are.
Girl #1: Well! There is­n’t go­ing to be a pea in this pod any time soon, I can tell you that!


Where’s the Cli­max to This Sto­ry?

Guy #1: Last sum­mer I was hangin’ out in Rich­mond for a week­end and me and some oth­er peo­ple were havin’ a par­ty and some­one gave me and this girl a pill and told us it was painkillers.
Guy #2: Oh yeah? Sounds like…fun.
Guy #1: Well the next day, af­ter we had had sex in a pool in front of like 30 peo­ple for about 10 hours, the girl who told us it was painkillers told us it was ac­tu­al­ly Cialis.

–CVS, 23rd & 1st

Over­heard by: katie fa­ca­da

Wednes­day One-Lin­er, Huh! What Is It Good For?

JAP on cell: If more peo­ple wore glit­ter there would no war.

–Ther­a­py Store

Crazy old guy: I want a dog for pres­i­dent. You know why? Dogs don’t start wars.

–31St & Dit­mars, As­to­ria

Over­heard by: Ran­di and Patrick

(at an an­ti-war ral­ly)
Street ven­dor: Say no to war, say yes to Louis Vuit­ton!


Over­heard by: Oh the irony

50-some­thing guy on cell: You see, we are a mil­i­tary agency, not a gov­ern­ment agency. (pause) So when I punched out that Home­land Se­cu­ri­ty guy, I punched out a civil­ian.

–Union Square Park

Over­heard by: Kse­nia

Eight-year-old boy: I dare you to fight in the civ­il war!

–7 Train