Archive for the ‘Retardation’ Category

That Would Ex­plain All the Hel­mets.

Man to woman af­ter hear­ing a man sing “Amaz­ing Grace”: Maybe it was the all-re­tard­ed hour at church.

–Bronx

Over­heard by: ClaR­i­ty

Head­line by: bobofthe­jun­gle

Run­ners-Up:
· “An­oth­er Hap­py Sun­day with Si­mon and Paula.” — again
· “But It Still Beats the All-Am­putee Hour at the Strip Club.” — SNA
· “Flow­ers For Al­ger­Nun” — Paul K.
· “From Midget Mass­es to Hand­i­capped Hymns, Mega-Church­es Pull Out All The Stops” — stacey
· “They’re Down with God” — Ros­tkows­ki

Click here to see the new Head­line Con­test

Too Easy.

Pro­mot­er, stop­ping col­lege girls: Hey, do you girls like com­e­dy?
Girls: (si­lence)
Pro­mot­er: Where are you two from?
(they look at each oth­er, don’t say any­thing)
Pro­mot­er: Hel­loooo? Where are you from?
(no re­ply)
Pro­mot­er: Are you guys re­tard­ed?!
(they storm off)
Girl #1 to girl #2: God! Some­one would nev­er say that to us in LA!

–Times Square

Over­heard by: just vis­it­ing

You’re a Lot Of Fuck­ing Work, Ja­son

Guy #1: I don’t think you’re re­tard­ed, you’re just a douche.
Guy #2: Wait, but you say I’m re­tard­ed all the time!
Guy #3: You’re just re­tard­ed in some ways.
Guy #2: I re­al­ly don’t think you’re un­der­es­ti­mat­ing me enough.

–El­e­va­tor, We­in­stein Hall, NYU

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers for Tara Reid

Girl on cell: I’ll adopt it, the state gives you mon­ey for re­tard­ed kids.

–48th & 6th

Guy to friend, dis­dain­ful­ly: And she’s al­ways like, “I work with Down syn­drome kids,” at… com­put­er camp or some shit.

–4th St & 1st Ave

Over­heard by: Shan­non

Girl: I think he is sex­u­al­ly re­tard­ed.

–5th Ave & 14th St

Over­heard by: Ab­dul Mar­cos

Glitzed up Jer­sey girl to friends: I look so good right now, it’s re­tard­ed.

–Ladies Room, Penn Sta­tion

Old­er man on cell: My dog has one of those re­tard vests, he can get in­to any restau­rant in New York.

–W 23rd St & 6th Ave