Archive for the ‘Rich people’ Category

The Is­land of Dr. Wednes­day One-Lin­ers

Man on cell: Was there a lot of bleed­ing? [un­in­tel­li­gi­ble re­ply] Well, was it four sheep or five? [re­ply] We have to find a way to sep­a­rate the cows from the sheep.

–El­e­va­tor, 56th & 8th

Drunk girl, yelling: All I want is a lla­ma! An­oth­er cock­tail and a lla­ma!

–Ter­mi­nal 5

Dude: So you’re en­joy­ing act­ing, LA, monogamy, hors­es?

–Cafe Es­peran­to

Chick to friend: I don’t care how well you clean it, I am not do­ing shots out of that al­li­ga­tor!

–TriBeCa

Over­heard by: lalala

Swanky pin-stripe suit on cell­phone: The lit­tle shit will def­i­nite­ly get ap­proved. He’s as healthy as a French gay ox.

–51st & 3rd

Over­heard by: IG

Young black dude: You know the movie The Li­on King? Yeah The Li­on King! …You know, the one with all the tigers.

–4 Train

Over­heard by: BQM la­dy

Man: Man­a­tees are the most peace­ful crea­tures in the world… They get hit by mo­tor boats!

–As­tor Place

But If Any­one Asks, I Called Jen­ny

Suit #1: So I’d been work­ing out for two hours a day, al­most dai­ly, for a few months.
Suit #2: How was that?
Suit #1: Well I was­n’t los­ing any weight, so then I re­mem­bered… I’m re­al­ly rich, I could just get lipo.

–Nas­sau & Wall St.

Over­heard by: slave for the man

Why Is This Girl Rid­ing the Sub­way?

JAP: Oh my god, I can’t wait to move in­to the city. I can’t take my house any­more, my par­ents are al­ways up my ass. Gab­by, what time will you be home? Gab­by, don’t for­get to tell Rosa to pick up your dry clean­ing! Gab­by, we’re pay­ing your tu­ition, you can’t treat this house like a ho­tel! It’s so an­noy­ing! I just wan­na be on my own, I can take care of my­self, I don’t need them con­stant­ly do­ing stuff for me!
Friend: Yeah… So where were you think­ing of mov­ing?
JAP: I dun­no, my dad said he might let me move in­to his apart­ment on 89th. Ei­ther that, or a part­ner at his firm is sell­ing a co-op that he might buy for me. He said I can choose.

–Up­town W train