Waspy woman #1, walking into J.Crew: It smells like J.Crew!
Waspy woman #2: It smells so good!
–J.Crew, Soho
Archive for the ‘Rich people’ Category
Why Do We Even Bring Them to This Country?
Filthy rich mom #1: I don’t know what I’ll do this summer. I mean, my nanny has a life.
Filthy rich mom #2: Ugh, I know. That’s exactly the trouble.
–Collegiate School, W 78th St
Remind Him to Pick Up My Dry Cleaning While You’re at It.
Middle-aged rich woman: Do you want to have time to have dinner tonight, honey?
Middle-aged rich man: How the hell should I know? Call my assistant!
Middle-aged rich woman: The next time I call your assistant will be the day after I’ve just fucked him.
–72nd St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: felix
…But I’m Gonna Have to Mace You Now, Sweetie.
Saleswoman: Hi, can I help you?
Rich woman: (ignores her)
Saleswoman: Hello…? Hi. How are you? Can I help?
Rich woman: What do you want?
Saleswoman: Um…I was just saying hello?
Rich woman: Oh! You were being friendly! How cute! Hello to you, too.
–3rd & Madison Ave
Conversing with My Personal Sensei
Bookstore girl to six-year-old in suit: Hey little boy, are you lost? Where is your nanny?
Six-year-old: I don’t know, but I see my driver outside!
–Bookstore, Upper East Side
Overheard by: AlphaNYC
The Island of Dr. Wednesday One-Liners
Man on cell: Was there a lot of bleeding? [unintelligible reply] Well, was it four sheep or five? [reply] We have to find a way to separate the cows from the sheep.
–Elevator, 56th & 8th
Drunk girl, yelling: All I want is a llama! Another cocktail and a llama!
–Terminal 5
Dude: So you’re enjoying acting, LA, monogamy, horses?
–Cafe Esperanto
Chick to friend: I don’t care how well you clean it, I am not doing shots out of that alligator!
–TriBeCa
Overheard by: lalala
Swanky pin-stripe suit on cellphone: The little shit will definitely get approved. He’s as healthy as a French gay ox.
–51st & 3rd
Overheard by: IG
Young black dude: You know the movie The Lion King? Yeah The Lion King! …You know, the one with all the tigers.
–4 Train
Overheard by: BQM lady
Man: Manatees are the most peaceful creatures in the world… They get hit by motor boats!
–Astor Place
But If Anyone Asks, I Called Jenny
Suit #1: So I’d been working out for two hours a day, almost daily, for a few months.
Suit #2: How was that?
Suit #1: Well I wasn’t losing any weight, so then I remembered… I’m really rich, I could just get lipo.
–Nassau & Wall St.
Overheard by: slave for the man
Working For This Gatsby Guy
Rich girl, arguing with friend: You don’t understand! I had a hard time this summer…I actually had to get a job!
Friend, in a sarcastic voice: You poor, poor creature…
–Times Square
See My “I’m a Dick” Cufflinks?
High school teen: Excuse me, do you know where the F train is?
Rich suit: Yeah…you can probably tell that I don’t take the subway.
–Union Square
Overheard by: you’re probably sleazy too
Same Applies for Judging Boyfriends
Woman: That one painting was gorgeous.
Man: Did you notice that no matter where you were in the room, his eyes were looking at you? That’s how you can tell it’s a great painting.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Jeff Scherer
