Archive for the ‘Rich people’ Category

Why Is This Girl Riding the Subway?

JAP: Oh my god, I can’t wait to move into the city. I can’t take my house anymore, my parents are always up my ass. Gabby, what time will you be home? Gabby, don’t forget to tell Rosa to pick up your dry cleaning! Gabby, we’re paying your tuition, you can’t treat this house like a hotel! It’s so annoying! I just wanna be on my own, I can take care of myself, I don’t need them constantly doing stuff for me!
Friend: Yeah… So where were you thinking of moving?
JAP: I dunno, my dad said he might let me move into his apartment on 89th. Either that, or a partner at his firm is selling a co-op that he might buy for me. He said I can choose.

–Uptown W train

After Crossing the Canadian Border, the Queen Began Behaving Erratically and Quarrelling with Prince Philip

Old lady #1: Well, we had already put ten thousand in the bank, so the Feds didn’t get ahold of that, thank God.
Old lady #2: Oh, good. Will that cover the cost of the lawyer?
Old lady #1: His Highness doesn’t want one.

–Veselka, 9th & 2nd

Overheard by: Cpt. Kate

Is That Any Creepier Than a Store with a Hair Salon for Dolls?

Child with doll in tow: Mommy, I really want Mia.
Park avenue mom #1: Well, maybe. Wouldn’t it be cool if they just sold the heads?
Park Avenue mom #2, poking head out of stall: What?
Park Avenue mom #1: Like, if they just sold Julie’s head, or Addy’s head?

–American Girl Store Bathroom

Overheard by: Layla

You’re Right, But for the Wrong Reasons.

Woman: You won’t take a fifty? Why won’t you take a fifty? This is outrageous! You don’t have a checker pen? You just check it with a checker pen! You need to get a checker pen. Oh my god, I can’t believe this is happening!
Counter chick: It’s company policy, we can’t take fifties. Nothing bigger than a twenty. But this drink is on the house.
Woman: I don’t want it on the house! I want to pay!
Counter chick: Don’t worry about it. It’s on the house. You don’t have to pay.
Woman: Well, this is the craziest thing I ever heard! You won’t let me pay! This is my husband’s fault! He owns a nightclub and he won’t give me a credit card. All he gives me is cash from the till! All I have is fifties and hundreds! I have a whole purse full of them! And you won’t let me pay! I feel like I’m homeless or something! Oh my god, this is so embarrassing.

–Jamba Juice, 5th & 23rd

Overheard by: oliver tomorrow

Wednesday One-Liners Are So Nouveau Riche

Female shopper to Bloomingdale’s cologne sprayer: Don’t you dare spray your $30 over my $150.

–Perfume Aisle, Bloomingdale’s

Old lady on cell: I mean, it’s just five million…

–Madison & 77th St

Very rich mom to new nanny, about baby in stroller: Okay, well, she loves sushi, and…

–Upper East Side

Rich teen: I asked my mom to go to Louis Vuitton with me this weekend and she was like, “we’re in a recession, let’s go to Dolce.”

–42nd St

Overheard by: I want a m6

Label-whore eating grapes and cheese, to friend: Oh my god, I feel so rich when I eat this stuff… Oh, wait, I am.

–Paul’s Cafe