Archive for the ‘Rockefeller Center’ Category

Tofu : Vegetables :: Dick Cheney : Humans

Veggie-curious girl: I like to get this really great dressing and then add all sorts of interesting vegetables.
Supportive friend: Like what?
Veggie-curious girl: Tofu!

–Rockefeller Plaza

Overheard by: receptionist

Headline by: EddieA

Runners-Up:
· “And Croutons!” — Vanessa
· “Gesundheit!” — Sandy Paws
· “If Regan Can Make Ketchup a Vegetable, Why the Fuck Not?” — Humberto
· “It’s the Other White Vegetable” — do2na
· “Sometimes I Get Crazy and Add Bacon Bits!” — Botticus
· “The Vitamin Deficiency Related Death Was Really No Surprise” — Proletariat

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

White Folks Still Claim Jesus Was A Cracker

Teen boy: Do you know where I can find those Communion wafers? I want to eat them with salsa.
Friend: Um, you can’t just eat those. It’s the body of Christ.

–Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: Jason
Headline by: Bored Beyond Belief 

Runners-Up:
· “Besides, Three Days Later You’ll Be Hungry Again” — Sparky
· “…And After Three days, He Arose, with Craving for Pico de Gallo” — Russ Wall
· “…And They’re 2000 Years Past Their Expiration Date” — John
· “And Stop Putting Salt on the Rim of the Chalice” — Amy Stephenson
· “Betcha Can’t Transubstantiate Just One” — chris
· “Body of Satan Has More Tang Anyway” — Jessica
· “Friends Don’t Let Friends Go to Church Stoned” — Pix
· “If Jesus Wanted Us to Eat Him with Salsa, He’d Be Appearing on Tortillas.… Oh… Wait.” — ilemanzer
· “Look for the Bag Marked ‘Corpus Crispy’ ” — Slept thru the Sermon
· “My God Stays Crunchy in Milk” — Benedict
· “That’s What You Said about the Last Donut, Too” — SDP
· “The Next Special Ingredient on Iron Chef” — dan
· “They’re Best Served with Dogma” — zg
· “Try the Taco Bells of St. Mary’s” — jules

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Wednesdays Strap on Their One-Liners

Woman walking into apartment building: Why did I get stuck carrying the bag of butt plugs?

–Greenpoint Ave

Hot girl on cell: You won’t die if you get stabbed by a dildo. (pause) Well, even if it was a hooker. What did you drink?

–Cook St & Bushwick Ave

Overheard by: cameo

Homie on BlackBerry; No, no, peep this, I said “cock ring” and she says, “like the guy from the OJ trial?” I’m dead serious!

–Rockafeller Plaza

Attractive 20-something to friend: Got hit with a sex toy!

–Pillow Fight, Union Square

Overheard by: Anna P.

Girl to four friends: And then I saw my old wooden dildo. It was wooden!

–37th St & 8th Ave

20-something girl: This is the most exciting thing to happen today! And that’s saying something, considering today was a day that included buying sex toys!

–Topshop

It’s Enemas

Drunk girl: You’ve seen anal sex a million times in porn, but have you ever once seen shit on the guy’s dick? Or on the sheets?
Guy: Maybe they give the girls enemas first.
Drunk girl, draining glass: Well, they must give ’em something, because in real life ass-fucking is a shitty business.

–Tony Awards after-party, Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: Big Larry

Unwanted Foreigners

Cashier: Here’s your receipt. Have a nice day.
Customer: Thanks. Do you know how hard it is to get a taxi around here?
Cashier: Well, you are in Midtown Manhattan, so it’s pretty easy.
Customer: Thanks.
Cashier: Where are you from?
Customer: Staten Island.
Cashier, under breath: Figures…

–J. Crew, Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: Al

Every Wednesday One-Liner Has Its Price

Woman to another: She had one baby at her breast and another baby sitting next to her, trying to sell chicklets.

–10 Rockefeller Plaza

Overheard by: Jarrod

Young man to young woman: Sell it on the black market or give it up for adoption. That’s basically your only two options.

–Grand St, Chinatown

Overheard by: Mike Posillico

Crazy woman to entire bus: My husband be given my money to all those hoes. That’s why I gotta sell coffee. But at least I’m not sellin’ my ass… (gets distracted by radio) Oh, this is a nice song.

–Bx15 Bus

Overheard by: Karly

Father of four, attempting herd jumping children on street: Okay, the next child that doesn’t listen to me will be sold!

–34th & 3rd

Overheard by: Dahouhou

Midwestern lady tourist to husband: Huh, Virgin. I wonder what they sell there.

–14th St, across Doomed Megastore

Overheard by: Not buyin what they’re sellin