Archive for the ‘Scents of the City’ Category

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers in Smell-O-Vi­sion

Hip­ster girl: I’d rather face the stig­ma of buy­ing fem­i­nine hy­giene prod­ucts than face the stig­ma of hav­ing a stinky hoo-ha.

–13th St & 5th Ave

Over­heard by: agreed

Girl: Re­mem­ber Di­ana? Stinky Di­ana? She’s back, and she’s get­ting mar­ried.

–West 47th & 8th Ave

Over­heard by: Pe­ter G

Chick: If I’m go­ing to play beer pong, I need to be fra­grant.

–Sam­my’s, 11th St & 6th Ave

Over­heard by: McF

Lit­tle boy to dad: I don’t want to go to Africa! I don’t want to smell the camels!

–5th Ave & Park Pl, Park Slope

Voice on in­ter­com: The Chil­dren’s Sec­tion is closed due to… that smell.

–NY Pub­lic Li­brary, East 96th St

Over­heard by: Di­ane

Chick: So, did you smell your toi­let pa­per?

–Mo­MA cafe

Over­heard by: Sweet­tart

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers, Now with 10 Per­cent More Stank

Suit in sun­glass­es: This en­tire plat­form smells like a hith­er­to un­known species of ass.

–D train plat­form, 34th St

Ag­ing hip­ster on cell: At worst, you emit a gen­er­al smell. If peo­ple no­tice it, I don’t think they as­so­ciate it with you.

–Worth St & W Broad­way

Loud woman: Yo, where you at? I can smell your breath, but I can’t see your face!

–Shoe store

Drunk chick in room of fe­males: It smells like pe­nis in here.

–Pi2 Lounge, W 12th & Surf Ave

Over­heard by: Iou­lia Fe­doro­va

Teen on cell: Dude, they kicked me off cam­pus! Be­cause they said I smelled like I was high. I mean, I am a lit­tle high, but I don’t smell like it!

–Stuyvesant High

Fat man: Why did­n’t any­one call Pat­ty* and tell her that her breath stinks?

–Vic­to­ry Hos­pi­tal

Over­heard by: Suqua­ia

Guy, smelling girl’s armpit: Man, that’s bru­tal! But I kin­da like it…

–NYU

Un­less I Could In­ter­est You in Some Re­bound Sex?

20-some­thing girl (fol­low­ing old­er man and sniff­ing him): Mm­m­m­m­mm.
Old­er man (let­ting her pass): Ex­cuse me?
Girl: Sor­ry about that. You smell like my boyfriend. And he dumped me two days ago. (eyes well up)
Old­er man: Well, you’re mak­ing me ner­vous. Keep on walk­ing, hon­ey.

–4 Train

Over­heard by: alex