Guy, sniffing at a box of bolts: Wow, these smell like Twizzlers!
Box owner: Well, they are from Germany.
–Metric Building, Hawthorne
Overheard by: not surprised at all
Archive for the ‘Scents of the City’ Category
The Non-suicide Bombers
Chick: What’s that smell?
Guy: Either someone farted or it’s terrorism.
–42nd & Broadway
That Is, Like Powdered Joy
Guy #1: You have a problem with that shit.
Guy #2: I don’t like doing coke, I just like the way it smells.
–Astoria
Overheard by: Chris Nixon
Or Thinking Too Hard
Beautician #1: Do you smell burning hair?
Beautician #2: Maybe we’re walking too fast.
–3rd & MacDougall, the Village
Pepé Le Pew’s Scentimental Wednesday One-Liners
Hobo: Hey, ladies. [Girls giggle.] You smell so good — like Campbell’s soup!
–10th & Broadway
Overheard by: Emily
Man on cell: You tell your smelly sisters that they have to shower tonight.
–39th & 5th
Queer hipster to fag hag: Oh my god, his placenta stank!
–N train
Overheard by: Lauren
Chick to friend: Shut up, or I’ll sniff you in a minute!
–Central Park
JAP: Ew, like — I like, washed my hair, like, this morning… Why does it, like, smell? Ewww… That’s sooo bimmey!
–1 train
Chipper thugette: I smell pussy!
–L train, Bedford stop
The Day Everybody's Deodorant Failed at Once
Boy (shouting): Damn son, smell like train up in here!
Flaming gay guy: You aint smellin' like flowers either, 'kay?
–D Train
Wednesday One-Liners and Tigers and Bears–Oh, My!
Young woman to another: But do you know how big a horse dick is?
–5th Ave & Carroll, Park Slope
Girl: I'm really tired. I'm, like, an animal activist right now.
–Parking Lot, Broadway Mall
Overheard by: Lysa
Student: I'm not that sensitive. I can watch those videos where they like, torture the animal or whatever, and then I'll go eat it.
–Cardozo Law School
Asian girl: Does this make me look like a sad Panda?
–NYU Dining Hall
Columbia girl: I'd never have asked if I knew he was the one who'd killed it. But I didn't suspect him. Who'd spend their time strangling a gerbil?
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Who'd have thought?
Guido to friend: Yo, it smells like a skunk burped up a hot dog.
–Penn Station
Lady on speaker: If you have an animal, please do not put it through the X-ray.
–LaGuardia Airport
This Friendship Stinks.
Dude #1: Dude! You farted!
Dude #2: Dude! We're outside! What do you want me to do, hold it till we get inside?
–22nd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: Manhattman
…With a Faint Tinge of White Castle
Pretty girl #1 in parking lot of zoo: Yep, it smells like zoo here.
Pretty girl #2: Well, I just farted.
Pretty girl #1, walking a few feet: Nope, still smells like zoo.
–Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: Ashley and Daria
Dude, Polish Jokes Were So 1985
Polish guy: Dude, it smells like a midget's ass over here!
Friend: How do you know what a midget's ass smells like?
Drunk guy: He's Polish! How else would he be able to screw in a lightbulb?
–Williamsburg, Brooklyn
Overheard by: POLA
