Guy #1: I can’t tell if I’m smelling your armpit or my fart.
Guy #2: Doesn’t matter. You couldn’t move away from it either way.
–Crowded 1 train
Overheard by: goo goo doll
Archive for the ‘Scents of the City’ Category
Readers: Give Her a Clever Comeback
Girl #1: Ohmigosh, I just bought scratch ‘n sniff underwear! With an apple on it!
Girl #2: Why the hell would you want to scratch your ass and then sniff it?
–66th & Broadway
…Since You Pooped in It
Little boy: Mom, is this a potty?
Mom: No it's the subway exit.
Little boy: It smells like a potty.
–F Train
Kid, We’re All Sardines in There
Old white man: Go ahead, that’s right. Everyone go ahead. Fucking pathetic.
Black girl: Ha, ha. You smell like sardines.
–3 train
Overheard by: Dae Han
Ever Since They Stopped Using Asbestos in Beanie Babies
White guy: FAO Schwarz used to be a fun place to hang out.
Black guy: Yeah.
White guy: They’ve changed it, though. It doesn’t smell the same.
–57th & 6th
Overheard by: Mark F.
Hey, that Taco Was Asking for It
JAP #1: Well, how do you know he’s cheating on you with that [lowers voice to loud whisper] Puerto Rican girl?
JAP #2: God, I don’t for sure know, alright?! Maybe because his dick smells like a Taco Bell, okay?!
–6 train
Overheard by: Maria
Probably Why Adam Sandler’s Career Is in a Freefall
20-something dude #1: Dude, did you just fart?
20-something dude #2: Shit, that stinks.
20-something dude #1: It smells like a turd wrapped in burnt hair!
20-something dude #2: It smells like Bigfoot’s dick!
20-something dude #1: It smells like the inside of a prosthetic leg!
[Five minutes of same.]20-something chick, exasperated: You know, this isn’t funny anymore!
–Metro-North Train to Poughkeepsie
Overheard by: Jenni
Gummi Bolts
Guy, sniffing at a box of bolts: Wow, these smell like Twizzlers!
Box owner: Well, they are from Germany.
–Metric Building, Hawthorne
Overheard by: not surprised at all
The Non-suicide Bombers
Chick: What’s that smell?
Guy: Either someone farted or it’s terrorism.
–42nd & Broadway
That Is, Like Powdered Joy
Guy #1: You have a problem with that shit.
Guy #2: I don’t like doing coke, I just like the way it smells.
–Astoria
Overheard by: Chris Nixon