Archive for the ‘Scents of the City’ Category

Readers: Give Her a Clever Comeback

Girl #1: Ohmigosh, I just bought scratch ‘n sniff underwear! With an apple on it!
Girl #2: Why the hell would you want to scratch your ass and then sniff it?

–66th & Broadway

…Since You Pooped in It

Little boy: Mom, is this a potty?
Mom: No it's the subway exit.
Little boy: It smells like a potty.

–F Train

Kid, We’re All Sardines in There

Old white man: Go ahead, that’s right. Everyone go ahead. Fucking pathetic.
Black girl: Ha, ha. You smell like sardines.

–3 train

Overheard by: Dae Han

Ever Since They Stopped Using Asbestos in Beanie Babies

White guy: FAO Schwarz used to be a fun place to hang out.
Black guy: Yeah.
White guy: They’ve changed it, though. It doesn’t smell the same.

–57th & 6th

Overheard by: Mark F.

Hey, that Taco Was Asking for It

JAP #1: Well, how do you know he’s cheating on you with that [lowers voice to loud whisper] Puerto Rican girl?
JAP #2: God, I don’t for sure know, alright?! Maybe because his dick smells like a Taco Bell, okay?!

–6 train

Overheard by: Maria

Probably Why Adam Sandler’s Career Is in a Freefall

20-something dude #1: Dude, did you just fart?
20-something dude #2: Shit, that stinks.
20-something dude #1: It smells like a turd wrapped in burnt hair!
20-something dude #2: It smells like Bigfoot’s dick!
20-something dude #1: It smells like the inside of a prosthetic leg!
[Five minutes of same.]20-something chick, exasperated: You know, this isn’t funny anymore!

–Metro-North Train to Poughkeepsie

Overheard by: Jenni