Archive for the ‘School’ Category

Step Three: Re­vise Facts to Fit Hy­poth­e­sis

Girl #1: So, you’re a veg­e­tar­i­an?
Girl #2: Yep. Eat­ing an­i­mals kills.
Girl #1: Wait, but you had sushi the oth­er night.
Girl #2: Fish does­n’t count. It’s, like, not an an­i­mal.
Girl #1: Huh? Yeah, it is. It, like, breathes and stuff.
Girl #2: But it’s un­der­wa­ter.
Girl #1: No, it’s an an­i­mal, ’cause it moves around and swims.
Girl #2: Then how come I can eat it?

–NYU

News­Flash: Hip­ster Is Copy­cat. Film at 11

Art­sy girl: I cant be­lieve you took my idea!
Beard­ed hip­ster boy: My cat died and so I can use it my way.
Art­sy girl: But now every­one thinks it was your idea to skin the cat! And it was mine! Next thing you know, you’ll be pluck­ing the feath­ers out of birds and dip­ping them in blood!
Beard­ed hip­ster boy: Good idea, I think I will.
Art­sy girl: Cunt!

–Out­side Coop­er Union School

Over­heard by: jem­ma low­er

Ug­ly Girls, Rep­re­sent!

Sixth grad­er: Yo! Miss Stevens*, how old are you?
Stu­dent teacher: 20.
Sixth grad­er: Are you a vir­gin?
Stu­dent teacher: I don’t think that’s an ap­pro­pri­ate ques­tion.
Sixth grad­er: Aight. It’s okay. I’m a vir­gin, too.

–Uni­ver­si­ty Neigh­bor­hood Mid­dle School

Over­heard by: teacher