Archive for the ‘School and studying’ Category

Keep Your Wednesday One-Liner in Your Pants, Dude

Preppy guy: This may be the last thing I say with my penis attached, but…

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Hunter

Girl on cell: Well, I mean… his penis is really important here, if his is better I'll take him!

–26th St & Lexington Ave

Overheard by: your mom

Asian guy: Everyone else was on the floor. Everyone had a penis in their face.

–D Train

Overheard by: Jon A.

Girl on cell: All I'm saying is: don't jump on the first penis that comes along!

–Broadway

Boss, about weightlifting: My genitals were so inverted I used to crap my penis.

–5th Ave

Teacher: There are about six euphemisms for "penis" in the first scene!

–Junior High School

Overheard by: gabygrillz

He’s Baaaack!

Strange guy: Excuse me, NYU students?
Guy #1: Yeah?
Strange guy: I’m your biggest rival.
Guy #1: Huh?
Strange guy: Columbia. Law school. I’m coming for you.
Guy #1: Okay…
Strange guy: Employer sees résumé from NYU, résumé from Columbia, always picks Columbia.
Guy #1: Okay. Have a nice day.
Strange guy: I’m coming for you, trust fund baby.
Guy #2: I’m sure that Columbia résumé makes up for not having a penis…
Guy #1: Trust fund baby?
Strange guy: Columbia. [Flicks them off and leaves.]

–Starbucks, Astor Pl & Lafayette

Overheard by: NYU Student

And Isn't a “Safety Position”, Like, a Sex Thing?

College girl #1: I mean, if I saw a person seizing in the middle of the street, I probably wouldn't help them.
College girl #2: Yeah, I wouldn't know what to do.
College girl #1: She said that because of her first aid class, she knew to put him in a safety position, but I don't even know what that means! I mean, if a person is having a seizure, I don't think any position is very safe for them…

–Madison Square Garden

Overheard by: Scarlett