Archive for the ‘School and studying’ Category

And Isn't a “Safety Position”, Like, a Sex Thing?

College girl #1: I mean, if I saw a person seizing in the middle of the street, I probably wouldn't help them.
College girl #2: Yeah, I wouldn't know what to do.
College girl #1: She said that because of her first aid class, she knew to put him in a safety position, but I don't even know what that means! I mean, if a person is having a seizure, I don't think any position is very safe for them…

–Madison Square Garden

Overheard by: Scarlett

Wednesday One-Liners Refer to 110th Street As ‘Downtown’

Exchange student: I was just telling him how to use a Post-it.

–Columbia

20-ish male: Actually, global warming is only going to benefit New York City.

–Columbia

Overheard by: martina m.

Chick: I am not eating somewhere with a misplaced apostrophe in its menu.

–Columbia

Overheard by: Ladle

Young Columbia student: Yeah, so all of a sudden I was walking home drunk, in a diaper, with a huge scar.

–1 train

Columbia grad student: … And if you ask him he’ll say, ‘I’m making money for the school! I’m making money for the school! I do drugs! I do drugs!’

–1 train

Student to another: As for the article, I don’t care about the truth of my argument. I care about people knowing how big my penis is.

–Columbia

Conductor: This is 116th Street, Columbia University. Good luck paying your tuition.

–116th St

Overheard by: Sam

Some Half-Baked Wednesday One-Liners

Woman on cell: I have to get home so I can put away the b-o-n-g.

–19th & Broadway

Overheard by: Kyle

Man in light green suit with orange-red gators: Read the bible tonight. Don't smoke that Scooby Doobie Doo. Don't get high tonight!

–125th & Lenox

Overheard by: Plausible

Young hipster: So I said, "Mom, did you smoke with me?"

–Central Park Reservoir

Angry girlfriend to boyfriend: Okay, so you don't want me smoking pot, you don't want me smoking cigarettes or cloves, you don't want me chewing gum and now you don't like lollipops? So tell me, Peter, what can I put in my mouth that's okay with you?

–L Train

Overheard by: It's me, bitches.

Teacher: Steve*, I need to talk to your pot dealer, because the stuff you're smoking is really good.

–Cooper Union

Overheard by: me too

Guy talking on blue tooth: I should be there in about 45 minutes. (pause) Yeah, I'm serious! (pause) Look. I got an idea for ya. Why don't you go roll a big fat blunt, smoke it until you can't see anymore and then I'll be there. Alright? Bye.

–8th Ave & 27th St

Overheard by: Erica Friedman

Girl: I mean honestly, who at NYU doesn't smell like weed?

–Washington Square Park