Archive for the ‘Science’ Category

Watch­ing Or­gan­ic and In­or­gan­ic Chemists Dance-Fight Like the Sharks and the Jets

Pro­fes­sor, rolling up a black­board to re­veal a sec­ond black­board that is cov­ered in gen­er­al chem­istry: Oh god! Oh god…get it off! Ew!
(class laughs)
Pro­fes­sor: No, not the ide­al gas law! We don’t need that, we’re or­gan­ic chemists! There is no such thing as gas! No such thing as gas!
Stu­dent #1: Or­gan­ic chemists are very sen­si­tive.
Stu­dent #2: This is kind of trag­ic.

–Or­gan­ic Chem Class, Barnard

Over­heard by: Vicks­burg

I Ve­to You.

Big girl #1: But the Pres­i­dent is not in charge of every state!
Big girl #2: No, but lemme tell you how it works. Cuz lot­sa peo­ples don’t know. The Pres­i­dent make laws but he can’t do noth­ing un­less the Sen­ate ve­toes it. I was in po­lit­i­cal sci­ence.

–188th St & Hill­side

Hey, I Saw the Crude Sketch­es in the Boys’ Re­stroom Way Be­fore That

(class is watch­ing a sci­ence video)
Sci­en­tist in the video: The prob­lem with the big bang is that we know noth­ing about it. We don’t when it banged, why it banged, how it banged, what ex­act­ly was be­ing banged…
(en­tire class laughs)
Smart-ass stu­dent: See, when a man loves a woman…
Smarter-ass stu­dent: Please, as if you did­n’t just learn that last year in bio!

–Stuyvesant High School

Do­mo Ari­ga­to, Mr. Wednes­day One-Lin­er

Nine-year-old boy: Some­times I just think I am a ro­bot. I mean, aren’t I a ro­bot?

–E 17th & Broad­way

Over­heard by: def­i­nite­ly hu­man

Tall guy: Yeah, you have to learn not to trust those shifty-eyed ro­bots.

–Union Square

Hip­ster: And, like, he was­n’t even gay… he was just not hu­man.

–88th & Park

Com­ic book guy: No, not Op­ti­mus Prime. But yes, I have had sex­u­al thoughts… about ro­bots.

–40th & 7th

Cute chick: You don’t need a sex ro­bot to have sex with a ro­bot.

–Old Town Bar

Over­heard by: Lieut. Li­plock