Archive for the ‘Science’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Want to Believe

Five-year-old girl in funny voice: I don't wear eyeshadow. I am an alien. I am allowed to be weird.

–Downtown 6 Train, Union Square

Overheard by: Adam Nathan

Brunette: So, wait. Are they scientists or large-headed aliens?

–Harlem

Overheard by: Ladle

Hobo: You may not know this, but I am from another planet. I am also recruiting souls for my army in the underworld. We are four hundred thousand billion strong. Everybody better watch out!

–1 Train

Geeky guy to another: Have you seen the planet he's from? Goddamn!

–N Train

Girl to friend (animated, with hand gestures): I mean, you could actually *see* E.T.'s birth…

–5th Ave & 14th St

Guy, very sure of himself: I would much rather hunt aliens than ghosts, at least that makes sense.

–Starbucks

Overheard by: jessi pfeufer

They Have Stuff Lots of Places

Yuppie chick #1: So, I went to the Museum of Natural History yesterday.
Yuppie chick #2: You wanted to go to the Museum of Natural History?
Yuppie chick #1: Yeah.
Yuppie chick #2: Why?
Yuppie chick #1: ‘Cause they have stuff there.
Yuppie chick #2: You know, I’ve never been to the Museum of Natural History. What kind of stuff do they have there?
Yuppie chick #1: You know, like, natural science stuff… A lot of the stuff there, though, was for little kids.
Yuppie chick #2: Yeah, I wouldn’t go there. Who wants to see natural science stuff?
Yuppie chick #1: Yeah, I mostly thought it was stupid.

–Utopia Diner, 72nd & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Cultured New Yorker

She Blinded Wednesday-One-Liners with Science

Teen thug: You know, if you put’em on hot they dry faster. On hot the clothes dry faster.

–Kingsland Ave & Jackson Ave., Willamsburg

Overheard by: confabulation nation

Hipster on cell: She thinks the entire world revolves around her. What is she, the sun?

–Union Square

Would-be physicist: Did you ever hear of magnetic repulsion? Because I swear to god that door has an eastern pole or something.

–Walgreens Drugstore, Union Square

Overheard by: kbot

Guy: So, you’ve dissected cats before?

–Lafayette & Centre St

Overheard by: Janelle

Loud chick: So I was looking on the Internet to learn more about our planet and biodiversity and shit, and there’s like five more extinctions supposed to happen! You know, like the dinosaurs and shit!

–Ray’s Pizza, E Houston

Overheard by: just visiting!

Soccer mom: He has had some really hard social studies stuff… Like why the seasons change and the how the earth moves around the sun.

–Warren Fields, Murray & West Side Highway

Overheard by: Soccer Nanny

I’m Still Trying to Get Rid of the Crabs from That Romulan Incident

Drunk guy #1: What’s the closest star to Earth?
Drunk girl: The Sun!
Drunk guy #2: No… It’s Alpha Centauri.
Drunk girl: I just don’t think I can agree with you on that. Anyway, Alpha Centauri is a galaxy!
Drunk guy #2: Let’s bet on it.
Drunk girl: Ok. But only money. No sexual favors.

–85th St & Amsterdam

Overheard by: EricaS

Wednesday One-Liners Heart Meerkats

Pretty 20-something girl: I might reconsider if there is a horse involved.

–Manhattan Beach

Overheard by: The Tutors

Girl to friend: Look at sociology. Look at the animals. That totally explains it. It is just like the animals, sociology explains everything.

–West 4th & Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Darci

Woman to man: Because I'd really like to understand what makes a good toreador and what makes a bad toreador.

–70th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Lisa B.

Girl who was just handed an anti-bird-porn flyer: I have never even seen birds mating. Now I am intrigued.

–Hair Rush Line Central Park

Overheard by: Krysta

Pet store clerk to customer: I don't know what flavor it is. It's turtle food. It's what they eat.

–Flushing Petland Discount

Park janitor to pigeons: I need all's you guys to be flappin' yo' wings and help me be cleanin' up these leaves. (pigeons coo, janitor starts cooing with them)

–Clinton & Congress, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Was a good impression