Archive for the ‘Sex and the City’ Category

Touché, Ann Coul­ter, Touché

Tourist guy #1: New York is cool man, a lot of places to vis­it and shit.
Tourist guy #2: Yeah, I know… I can’t wait to find me one of them horny-ass “Sex in the City” whores to suck me up while I’m here.
Tourist guy #1: That’s a myth, you fag. It ain’t re­al.
Tourist guy #2: Look at those moms over there. I bet they’re crav­ing some young cock.

–Out­side Ra­dio City Mu­sic Hall

Over­heard by: Fat­Cop

Your Ed­i­tors Are Ter­ri­fied

Jrsey tan Car­rie Brad­shaw: Oh. My. Gawd. This nay­ba­hood look jus like Char­lot­te’s! (King Charles Spaniel walks by) Oh my gawd! Thats Char­lot­te’s dawg!
Jer­sey tan long sum­mer dress: Oh my gawwwd, it is… That’s so weird!
Jer­sey tan Car­rie Brad­shaw: Every­thing is sooo Sex and the City right now! It’s scary that like every­thing in my life re­lates back to Sex and the City!

–81st & Colum­bus Ave

Over­heard by: Andy

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers May Give You Gas

Guy to girl: You’re go­ing to re­gret it for the rest of your life if you get the wrong sal­ad.


Over­heard by: Con­fab­u­la­tion Na­tion

Slen­der wait­ress to two large cus­tomers: Make sure you fin­ish *all* of that! Es­pe­cial­ly the cel­ery. That’s my fa­vorite part! (they look in dis­gust)

–Ap­ple­bee’s, As­to­ria

Yo­ga clothes-clad girl, loud­ly to friend: It is not a veg­etable. It’s a legume!

–6th Ave & W 12th St

Man to woman: So I sayz, “La­dy, you’re my cup­pa tea al­right, but I like the oc­ca­sion­al cu­cum­ber, if you know what I’m sayin’…”

–Her­ald Square

Over­heard by: Mi­ra

Gay guy: I saw peo­ple com­ing out of the woods and I was like, “Agh­hh! Corn chil­dren!”

–8th & 45th

Over­heard by: i’d be scared, too

Sarah Jes­si­ca Park­er’s son: Do you know what kind of let­tuce she likes?

–Wash­ing­ton Square

Over­heard by: Brooke

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers’ Amaz­ing Ur­ban Ad­ven­ture

Tourist, be­fore get­ting in­to purse-filled van: Aw shit, what did I just say? I said I was not get­ting in­to any strange vans to­day.

–Canal & Lafayette

Pseu­do-knowl­edge­able tourist: It’s so strange that they have turn­stiles that go both ways, you know, ones that let you go in and out in the same turn­stile. Every oth­er sub­way sta­tion I’ve been in in New York has ones for en­ter­ing and dif­fer­ent ones for ex­it­ing.

–5th Ave E Sta­tion

Over­heard by: Colleen

French tourist (with Amer­i­can ac­cent) to French friends: Stand clear of the clos­ing doors, please. (French tourists bust up laugh­ing)

–1 Train

Over­heard by: kdub

30-some­thing fe­male tourist head­ing to sub­way: I pre­fer the Sex and the City ver­sion of New York.

–Union Square

Over­heard by: E‑Love

Old woman tourist: Geez, you’d think they’d be a lit­tle more op­ti­mistic at the Unit­ed Na­tions.

–Unit­ed Na­tions

Teenage British boy tourist to the rest of his fam­i­ly, as they pass a sou­venir shop: Oh! This must be where Tim got that “I heart New York” shirt! (whole fam­i­ly ex­cit­ed­ly goes in­to the store)

–Ful­ton St

Con­sid­er Your­self Warned

Mid­dle school boy: Yo, you ever seen that show Sex and the City on HBO?
Three friends: No.
Mid­dle school boy: I thought there’d be mad sex on it. There was­n’t any! They should call that show ‘White Bitch­es Talk­ing.’

–Brook­lyn Mid­dle School