Little girl: Ew, sex, gross!
Mother: Sex isn’t gross. It’s natural and it can be a very beautiful thing.
Little girl: You wouldn’t say that if you heard what Eleanor told me.
–N train
Overheard by: Tom Brigham
Little girl: Ew, sex, gross!
Mother: Sex isn’t gross. It’s natural and it can be a very beautiful thing.
Little girl: You wouldn’t say that if you heard what Eleanor told me.
–N train
Overheard by: Tom Brigham
High school girl #1: I think they give them a class on it.
High school girl #2: Called what? How to be a complete asshole and sleep with all of your girlfriend’s friends?
–Dalton School, Upper East Side
11 year-old boy throwing water balloon back and forth: It’s like a hymen, perfectly intact after a minor rape! (balloon is thrown to him and bursts all over him) Oh, sweet hymen juices!
–Tompkins Square Park
Eight-year-old boy to another: God, just drink your spit!
–90th St & 2nd Ave
Drunk hobo with hand-down pants: I’m not going to ejaculate! (repeats it over and over)
–D Train
Overheard by: seat changer
Blind woman to blind friend: Sweaty people suck.
–W 23rd Street
Overheard by: Cool and Dry
Little girl: I don’t like boys! They’re mean and they sweat a lot!
–2nd & Ave A
Young girl to boy: Ewwww, I’m dripping cum!
–Hester & Allen
Overheard by: lower east side
Construction worker #1: Yeah, she brought out the body oil and was rubbing it every! I was like “I don’t think I’m going to last too long now!“
Construction worker #2: That’s one of those dates where you really need to beat off before you go! You really gotta hit the testicles!
–42nd St & 8th Ave
Aging rocker: I love you, baby face.
Drunk wife, endearingly: Fuck my tits.
–R Train
Overheard by: erak
Teen boy #1: Okay, tell the truth. Have you ever tried to lick your own balls? I’ll be honest, I’ve tried.
Teen boy #2: I’ve thought about it, I just know I couldn’t do it.
–108th & Columbus
Girl yelling across the street: Yo, she got more hair on her pussy than your bitch got on her head!
–St. John’s, Crown Heights
Woman on cell. One hundred dollars? You must have me confused with 1–800-Crack Whore.
–W 57th
Girl #1: You know Alex?
Girl #2: Yeah, he loves me, but not in a sexual way. He just thinks I’m awesome.
–Dorm Elevator, Columbia University
Overheard by: Chopin’s Edna
Guy: I had to yell at her and tell her that she couldn’t be pregnant — I mean, dude, that was last week.
–St. Marks & 3rd Ave
Preggers to male friend: And that asshole came up and body-slammed me on the train platform! Of course, everyone was looking at me like I’m the animal. How can you body-slam a woman who’s seven months pregnant and not feel bad?
–D train
Overheard by: Jannine Ramlochan
Preggers to lady pushing to get to cupcake table: Lady, I am four months pregnant. Getting between me and those cupcakes is a really, really good way to lose an arm.
–Magnolia Bakery
Snotty actress: Oh my gosh, she is such a good writer for my acting type. Her script is so like, like — pregnant with promise.
–14th & Broadway
Overheard by: Emilia
Girl on phone: No, I can’t have sex with you. Because then if I got pregnant I’d have to be like, ‘Whose baby is it? Well, let’s see — is it black, white, brown…?’
–Grand Central Station
British mother to young son: Do you know what I had to eat when I was pregnant with you, Bill? Buns! Buns! Buns! Buns! That’s why you’re mad about buns. [To daughter] And that’s why you like brown things.
–Varick & King St
Young woman to friends: And she keeps getting pregnant, and I’m like, ‘Stop it, woman!’
–Columbia campus
Overheard by: Cheney
Girl to friend: Whenever I get a really big booger, I feed it to the dog.
–Apartment Building, Midtown
Girl: And the doctor asked if she’d gone down on anyone lately, and she said “yeah, and when I was doing it, all these little bumps kept falling off in my mouth,” and the doctor said “you have genital warts in your throat.”
–L Train
Overheard by: atrain
Man on cell: And he opened a can of worms, ate the whole thing and then spit it all into his friend’s mouth. We were dry heaving. But everyone just looked at us weird.
–1st & 15th
Overheard by: Angela
Preteen boy on cell: (belches) Huh? (belches again, loudly) What did you say? I can’t hear you, I’m burping.
–77th & 2nd
Girl to friend: My dad would say, “don’t send her chocolate, it makes mucus.”
–W 24th St & 10th Ave
Overheard by: Fred Daubert
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist