Archive for the ‘Sexuality’ Category

These Wednesday One-Liners Are Brought to You by Birkenstock

Guy to buddy: Dude, we are actually a lesbian couple.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Sofa

Loud woman on cell: Did you know that Devahndra had a baby? Yeah, a girl. What happened to being a lesbian? Yeah, I guess that one went kinda short.

–Bx16 bus

Overheard by: Lillian

LI man: … And then the lesbians — they surrounded me.

–LIRR, Jamaica

Overheard by: wish they had been surrounding ME

Hipster: She thought she was a lesbian, but she was a midget.

–L train

Suit to female companion: Even lesbians have to eat!

–34th St

Overheard by: oh, is that why i’m so hungry?

He Was Gay Enough, Though

Woman #1: So, I heard you broke up with your fiancé. What happened?
Woman #2: Well, it turns out he was gay.
Woman #1: Oh, I am so sorry. Did you have any idea?
Woman #2: Yeah, I thought he was gay when I met him, but then we had sex and I thought, Well, if he can have sex with me, he can’t be that gay

–Tennis courts, Central Park West

And Friday’s His Scrabble Night… No, I’ve Never Gone With Him to Scrabble Night, Why?

Hipster Girl #1: So you guys should come. Oh! You should bring your boyfriend, I haven’t met him yet.
Hipster Girl #2: I wish I could but it’s on Wednesday night, right? He’s really into fashion, that’s when he watches Project Runway.
[Hipster Girl #1 stares blankly at Hipster Girl #2 for a few moments.]Hipster Girl #1: Oh.

–Central Park

Overheard by: hobojane

Deleted Scene from Mission: Impossible III

Hot Asian chick: Yeah, so I kept asking my boyfriend about how he had his ex finger his ass, and he got so pissy at me.
Gay black dude: Hmmph. He probably doesn’t want to admit he wants it up the booty all the time.
Hot Asian chick: He said he pretended that he liked it when she she’d butt play him. I don’t buy that shit.
Gay black dude: Honey, real men don’t pretend. Run!

–Houston & Broadway

Overheard by: henry