Overeager sales associate: Welcome to American Eagle! Can I help you find anything?
Guy: No thanks, just looking.
Overeager sales associate: Hey, you know what would really look good on you?
Guy: What?
Overeager sales associate: Jeans!
Guy: Uh… I guess I like jeans.
Overeager sales associate: That’s music to my ears!
–American Eagle, Union Square
Overheard by: doubeldee
Girl: Where’s the nearest Banana Republic?
Guy: Uh…Dominican Republic?
–Fordham University, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: daniela
Cashier: Do you want your receipt?
Customer: Yeah, I guess. (pauses to read as she walks to the exit) I love it when my books cost less than my lunch!
–The Strand
Overheard by: Suzanne
Bargain basement shopper: It said “Dark Knight” on the cover.
Perplexed friend: So you bought it?
Bargain basement shopper: Hell yeah. You can’t beat crackhead prices.
–F Train
Overheard by: KP Whitey
Hobo: Let me ask you something. How come White people don’t buy from Black-owned businesses?
White guy: I do. All the time.
Hobo: Yeah? What Black stores do you shop at?
–Morningside Drive & 113th
Overheard by: Captain Obvious
College student: This is the best Barnes & Noble I’ve ever seen!
–Borders, Time Warner Center
Student: So, the author of the Tao Te Ching, Lao-low… Fuck it, we’re calling him L‑train.
–Eugene Lang College
Overheard by: Harker
Large woman with friends: Oh, girl, I got to tell you about this book I’m reading. It’s off the hook! They’re sending in this undercover agent, and I think it’s his sister, but he’s all getting ready to have sex with her!
–White Castle, 36th & 8th
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Woman on phone: I was in Union Square, so I stopped in Barnes & Noble. (pause) Nigga, I can read!
–Union Square
Little British boy: Oh my goodness, dad, look! They have books on dating. How to Date? is probably like, “Don’t take her to McDonald’s!”
–Barnes & Noble
Overheard by: Laura
Tattooed artsy guy, putting hand on artsy Asian girl’s shoulder: I read your book and really liked it… lotta pissing, huh?
–Mott & Prince
Teen girl #1: I’m thinking about buying more clothes!
Teen girl #2: Clothes! Lets go shopping!
Teen girl #1: I know! Dad’s money is the best!
–2nd Ave & 12st St
Overheard by: James
Woman: Where is the men section?
Employee: This is the men section.
Woman: Oh, wow!
–Express For Him
Overheard by: Express
Cute blonde girl: I was in Duane Reade last night at three a.m. I was buying little green army men!
Cute brunette girl: Why were you buying little green army men?!
Cute blonde girl: I don’t know!
–545 45th St
Overheard by: Javi
Old man with sign reading “sinners without faith are going to hell”: Do you know where you’re going?
Hot girl: Yeah, old man…I’m going shopping.
–W 53rd St
Overheard by: Melissa Platt
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
