Wait a Minute– Like Boys How?

Eight-year-old girl to older brother: I don’t like booooooys!
10-year-old brother: I don’t like boys, either!
Kids’ ghetto mom to son: Boy, you betta like boys or I’mma pull your dick off.

–Uptown 2 Train

Overheard by: E.C.

Meanwhile, George Clooney Holds the Skeleton Key to All Pussies.

Little boy to older sister: What is that?
Sister: The key to my pussy.

–Ditmas Park, Brooklyn

But First I’ll Stuff Him with Chocolate!

Girl #1: Mom wants you to dress Jose up for Halloween.
Girl #2: He’s only 1 ¹⁄₂ years old. What would I do that for?
Girl #1: Dress him up as an M&M.
Girl #2: Oh, right.

–L Train

Overheard by: Christopher

You Think She’d Hook Up With Me?

Sister #1: You know what Auntie Cathy* said last week? She said that, back in the 40’s, Aunt Mary* was a huge slut! She said, and I quote, “She had the clap so many times it amounted to applause.“
Sister #2: And I thought the only hobby she ever had was crocheting those ugly stuffed animals.

–Quizno’s, 14^th & 3^rd

The Teacher Wanted to Make It Clear That the Correct Word is ‘Faggot’

8‑year-old: Today Jahzeer and Wassef told Steven he was gay and lesbian! And Steven started to cry!
Older sister: Oh. And did you tell them that wasn’t very nice?
8‑year-old: No. The teacher started yelling at them! It was very entertaining. I was excited to be there.

–Corona, Queens

Overheard by: Amy

…It’s Extra-large, Right? I Don’t Want To Get Your Herpes.

[Twenty something chick stops in the middle of the store and looks around.]Twenty something dude, who is obviously brother of twenty something chick: What? What are you looking for?
Twenty something chick: The condoms.

–Duane Reade, Penn Station

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

Because, Really, Does Anyone Care?

Young girl: Mommy, is Canada in Europe?
Sister of young girl: Of course it is, stupid! It’s right next to Quebec.
Mom: Uh, no honey, it’s in…
Sister of young girl: It’s in Europe.
Mom: No, it’s in…
Sister of young girl: Europe!
Mom: Fine! Canada is in Europe.

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: Lydia

Or Straight

Boy: You know what, I don’t know anyone who has such good taste in fashion as me, and I’m only twelve!
Mom: Honey, stop saying those things. People will think you’re arrogant.
Girl: It’s only arrogance if you’re wrong.

–McDonald’s, Times Square

Not to Knight Rider’s KITT

Little girl, as car alarm goes off when she passes by: What was that?
Older sister: Oh, don’t worry, it was probably me.
Little girl: Psh! You’re not that hot!

–26^th St & 1^st Ave

Overheard by: Lara

No, Just Marrying Them

Girl to younger sister: Well, “taboo” is something that society does not accept.
Little girl: Do you mean like Puerto Ricans?

–2 Train