Fat guy: So, you think she’s going to dump you?
Skinny guy: Yeah, she doesn’t seem to like the gonorrhea. It just keeps coming back!
Fat guy: Well, that’s the thing with gonorrhea.
–Walgreens, 18th & 1st
Overheard by: Trying Not To Laugh
Archive for the ‘Skinny People’ Category
From The Wizard Of Oz! The Wizard Of Oz!
Ugly skinny girl: I swear to god, if you compare us to The Golden Girls one more time, we're not friends anymore.
Cute fat girl: Okay, fine. (pause) God you can be such a Dorothy sometimes.
–54th & 5th
Women Take a Stand on Wednesday One-liners
Petite woman: Just because you are taller doesn’t mean you are stronger. I have more power in my finger than that broad! One flick from me and she’d be on her ass!
–43rd & 6th
Guy on cell: I’ve got the dogs. I’ve got your mother’s latte. I’ve got your cappuccino, and I’m willing to go back for a movie but you’ve got to drive me…Hello? Hello?
–Park Slope
Overheard by: amb
Chick: My boss never actually reads her e-mail. I forwarded her a message with someone’s address, but she only read the first line and responded “Where’s the address”? I mean, scroll down bitch! Jeeeeez.
–Maiden Lane
Overheard by: J
Yoga instructor: I am totally never going back to Dop Dop again. They kept telling people I’m really a brunette.
–Equinox, 50th Street
Girl: And you know what? After having a few accidents, I just decided to wear pads, to let it flow naturally.
–College of Staten Island
Overheard by: Dr. Ballon
Woman on cell: So she says to me, “Oh, you’re so interesting”, and I’m like, “Fuck you, you fucking cunt.”
–57th & 5th
Overheard by: Heather
I Was Just Being Agreeable
Overweight girl: Well, he obviously liked being fucked by me.
Skinny girl: It's cause you're fat.
Overweight girl: He did say he liked big girls. Whatever, I'm over him.
Skinny girl: Yeah, his dick was little anyways.
Overweight girl: And you know this… how?!
–SoHo
Overheard by: Katelyn Jones
It sure ain’t muscle
Old Lady: And then she said she didn’t like him because he was too fat. She wanted to date someone skinnier. You know, like you?
Old Man: I’m skinny?
Old Lady: Of course.
Old Man: Then what’s this hanging off of me?
–Brighton Beach
NYC: The Best Restaurants Beget the Best Eating Disorders
Well-dressed girl #1: You know what?
Well-dressed girl #2: What?
Well-dressed girl #1: Throwing up at work really isn’t as bad as it seems.
–Prince Street between Lafayette & Mulberry
Waif #1: Ugh. I feel so fat…I feel so gross. I’m not going to fit into any of my summer clothes…I’ve been trying to be so good, going to the gym everyday and everything.
Waif #2: You’re not fat.
Waif #1: Yes I am. You can only say that because you’re thin…I ate a salad today for lunch. But then I just ate all of these sweet thingamajiggies.
–W train
Overheard by: Nora S.
Columbia chick on cell: …I mean, like, yesterday I totally pigged out on salad.
–116th & Broadway
Overheard by: djlindee
I Long to Marinate in Hurt Feelings
Skinny guy in bad 90s jeans: I have to find out what that stupid bastard said!
Fat guy: What guy are you talking about?
Skinny guy in bad 90s jeans: No, I'm talking about my wife!
–3rd Ave & Ovington, Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Ohioan stuck in Brooklyn
You Need Better Time Management Skills
Big black guy on bike: Yeah…it'll be a smokey party.
Skinny black guy: Yo…this school shit is whack–I got an ounce to smoke through, but I've been so busy with school… I mean, yesterday I only smoked three blunts.
Big black guy on bike: Ooooh, son. Ouch.
–Broadway & Washington Place
Overheard by: Sydney m
What?? I'm Tiny by Association.
Skinny tween: I hate it when people smush me in the subway.
Fatty tween: Yeah, it's not like we take up that much space!
Skinny tween: Why am I so tiny?
Fatty tween: Why did god make us so tiny?
–Union Square
Wednesday O-o-o-oooo-One-Liners
Skinny Spanish girl: That nigga was saying how he had me moaning and screaming, but I was like, "nigga, I'm just loud–that doesn't mean you're good!"
–Ft. Hamilton Parkway, Brooklyn
Overheard by: also loud
Ghetto chick to friend: Yo…in my country, it's illegal to not please your woman. You gotta fuck her till she begs you to stop.
–116th & 1st
Overheard by: DonnaRae
Man on phone: Yeah…I just fingerblasted her for like an hour. No big deal.
–E 4th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: intern2
Mom to teenage son: And I was like "sure, have sex in my bed, it never sees any."
–Mercer & W 3rd
Girl on cell: Oh no, he's back fucking his secretary now, so I'm like, completely free!
–East Village
20-something on cell, after loud graphic sex tale: And don't you be telling anyone! I don't like strangers knowing my business.
–Express Bus to Brooklyn