Archive for the ‘Skinny People’ Category

Wednes­day O‑o-o-oooo-One-Lin­ers

Skin­ny Span­ish girl: That nig­ga was say­ing how he had me moan­ing and scream­ing, but I was like, “nig­ga, I’m just loud–that does­n’t mean you’re good!”

–Ft. Hamil­ton Park­way, Brook­lyn

Over­heard by: al­so loud

Ghet­to chick to friend: Yo…in my coun­try, it’s il­le­gal to not please your woman. You got­ta fuck her till she begs you to stop.

–116th & 1st

Over­heard by: Don­naRae

Man on phone: Yeah…I just fin­gerblast­ed her for like an hour. No big deal.

–E 4th St & 2nd Ave

Over­heard by: intern2

Mom to teenage son: And I was like “sure, have sex in my bed, it nev­er sees any.”

–Mer­cer & W 3rd

Girl on cell: Oh no, he’s back fuck­ing his sec­re­tary now, so I’m like, com­plete­ly free!

–East Vil­lage

20-some­thing on cell, af­ter loud graph­ic sex tale: And don’t you be telling any­one! I don’t like strangers know­ing my busi­ness.

–Ex­press Bus to Brook­lyn

If I Had An­oth­er Hand or Leg, Though…

Thin chick: I love smok­ing cig­a­rettes while I walk.
Fat friend: Ugh, I hate smok­ing cig­a­rettes while I’m walk­ing. I can just see it now — ‘Look at that cow walk­ing down the street puff­ing on a cig­a­rette.’ I’ll be, like, smok­ing with my right hand, hold­ing my in­haler with my left and wob­bling down the street. Nice.

–F train

Over­heard by: Hys­ter­i­cal

Cliche Must Be French for Hip­popota­mus

Fat la­dy: Last night, I ate an en­tire box of cook­ies
Skin­ny la­dy: Uh huh.
Fat la­dy: Like the whole box. I mean, I sort of threw up in my sleep I think.
Skin­ny la­dy: That’s–
Fat la­dy: I mean, there were def­i­nite cook­ie bits in my bed this morn­ing. I’m such a cliche.
Skin­ny la­dy: That’s just really…sad.

–Pick a Bagel on Third, Third Av­enue

You Should Take That As a Sign to Fuck Me

Fash­ion­ista queer: Ex­cuse me, could I bum a cig­a­rette?
Rock­er queer: Sor­ry, I don’t smoke. But you should take that as a sign to quit! It’s bad for you!
Fash­ion­ista queer: Who cares, I’m skin­ny!

–Cafe­te­ria, 17th & 7th

Over­heard by: Nellee