Archive for the ‘Smoking’ Category

Way to Raise Your Kid to Be a Total Drag.

Little boy, watching teen girl smoking: Why are people always smoking cigarettes?
Dad: Because they are addictive. That is why daddy quit. Do you want to tell the nice girl what will happen to her if she doesn’t quit?
Little boy: Well, first you’ll get really sick. And then you’ll die. (pause) And then you’ll be dead!

–15th St & 7th Ave

Overheard by: Nora Claire

If My Heart Made Blood I Wouldn’t Need to Buy Puppies

Store guy: You know, I used to smoke 2–3 packs a day. It’s really not good for you.
Dude: Are you gonna give me a discount on Nicorette, then?
Store guy: We don’t have it…but you don’t need that stuff anyway. It doesn’t work. All you really need is your–

He taps his hand on his chest.

Dude: If my heart made nicotine I wouldn’t need to buy cigarettes. 

–Duane Reade, 49th & 9th

Overheard by: Katie

Tell You What. You Can Do It Inside If You Seal Yourself in a Plastic Bag

Catholic school girl #1: This is totally a third person situation right now, but I really think that some people are discriminatory against smokers. I mean, we really shouldn’t have go outside to smoke. What, are you going to ask a girl with Tourette’s to go spaz outside?
Catholic school girl #2: Did you actually just compare smoking to Tourette Syndrome?

–Convent of the Sacred Heart

Overheard by: Overachiever catholic school girl